Experiences – My friends!

I was all excited about the Goa trip in my last post.. And now I am in Goa. Waiting for the fellows around me to get up and leave to some place!

We have been here for a couple of days now but did we have a lively couple of days? I am not sure what my answer would be.. People look changed as I see them from their earlier days. People change, have to change.. but still I find it a bit difficult to accept that their priorities have changed (so much).

3 or 4 years back, we would have loved to play a game of football in the 1st ground of school and then sit on the tiny wall tired and yet excited that we are together. We would then head to Uday’s home, sit on the compound wall and keep shouting for water. Usually an hour of football would be topped with a couple of hours of fun-filled updates and recollections from the B-section days.

The 2 days here, on the contrast, was filled with foods, drinks and … Unfortunately, I am not really fond of both and definitely not the drinks. Man! food and water are available everywhere on earth. The slow service here in restaurants didn’t help one bit! We have traveled some 200km on 2-wheeler in search of beaches, while one is next our hotel! Neither have we traveled to catch-up with some history of Goa nor did we sit back, relax and talk.

I was telling Purri that, everyone of us has become more defensive and demanding.. every small joke might be taken seriously and every small ‘want’ needs to be taken seriously! I demand we do something else.

Priorities have changed and we have been set into those thinking templates.. thanks to our lives. But, I still feel its always a matter of choice. 11 agreed to come, we are now 9. I am happy that most of us made it till here. I wish we make it memorable for all so that we come back again.

I did have my share of fine moments in the 2 days, especially the drive with Purri, faint recollections of 2nd standard with Tija and the chat with Uppi on Facebook. I enjoy my days here!

–buddi

Memories - my friends!

Most moments in life are short and become memorable after they are gone…

All of us (friends and classmates) have different experiences and possibly different expectations! We lived close by, yet we were far from each other. We spoke once in a while, yet we were never talked about each other. After sharing benches, lunch and jokes for almost 10 years (may be more) is that all we care about each other? Why is it I know so little about a friend who told me how to dress, how to write and how to play? These questions often eat into my sleep and worse I feel there is none that has the time to listen… purri and uday are exceptions. I sometimes feel that these were among the few people whom I knew a little about and probably they know a bit about me. We wonder whether we were the only few who are stuck-up in our past and want to be so.

I write quite a bit about my friends in Hyderabad, Chennai, Saragur and other places.. most times it is filled with regret. I miss my friends and worse I have no idea of how I can do better than regretting.

A few days back, a bunch of us met at McDonald's and had a great time. It is always a pleasure to recall the old days and re-live our times (most of us had much better sense of humor then), I am sure many wouldn't disagree. How much ever we enjoy as a group, I find it surprising that we need a "good" occasion to meet. This time it was one of us flying off! (I hope he would remember us and come back to meet us some day). Just as we were getting comfortable with the food, the place and more importantly each other some one threw this idea of going to Goa. I felt they had done it very early into the meeting, however, to my surprise almost everyone instantly agreed to be a part of it, putting an end to my cynicism.

As of now, the plan is on and some 11 of us are heading to Goa in the days to come. I am really excited and looking forward for the visit.. actually looking forward to meet my friends again! I really wish all of us make it to the trip and live a few of the moments we might relish all our life. Even as I type this.. I am sure at least few more are dreaming of what we would be doing there in Goa.. lets live it!

--buddi

I am not quite sure of how I wanted to write this. But this is how it came out. This is dedicated to my friends - all those "B" section walas who will make it to the trip and paapi, kabani among many others!

The "Dark Energy" in my life

The "Dark Energy" in my life! Sounds crazy to me, sounds crazy to most...

Dark Energy, the invisible energy, of my life have been the people around - they make me, they define me. Very few have contributed but have contributed way too much. Most of us don't realize how much each can influence us when they are around and only when they are gone do we realize that... thats not really the case in my life. At least a few times..

I wrote the above lines a long while back here and I dozed off. Today I am sitting on the terrace on a cool night with people around me. People brought to life after a long conversation with a friend.

Only two people... once eating ice cream, once searching for books in Higginbothams, once sitting in the robotics lab and preparing presentations, once sitting as strangers across a table and having lunch, once staying awake through out the night chatting, once writing letters, once sleeping while typing a message, once in a group to have coffee, once walking past fearing that it might be last, once facing each other with a 'how-come' face, once a pleasant talk, once a violent silence, once a missing link, once at the British council, once at the Onam celebrations, once at Hot Chips, once at Dhabba Express, once on road post mid-night in search of food..

Well, that is several times. 'Chikku' and myself have been friends for a short span (relatively) and have been great friends. Sometimes together and sometimes alone, I did enjoy a different friend in her. Starting from the 'arrogant' fellow as she mentioned me to a good friend now, we have moved on and on. I once feared that I would never be able to meet her again to a reassuring feeling that I can always meet her, every moment is a relishing memory in itself. Many of which I just can't explain. Chikku is surely a special friend. Why?

I don't know..

Not everyday we get good friends and not every friendship is special. Very true! We just need to care to hold them together...

Random thoughts

Random thoughts – Independence Day (15^th August 2010)

On the very same day, last year I was here. It was a different experience then. As Anirudh put it, on our way back, 24hrs of the Independence Day well utilized! That was quite a while back! Things have really changed now… back then I was the known-unknown. People at the VSOE knew that there was a fellow coming from Chennai; had released some newsletter and went back. I knew Malathi and Anitha, and I met Dr Padmaja and Dr Bindu to give them a copy of the newsletter (I was very confused between Dr Padmaja and Dr Sridevi at that time). I hardly remember any interaction with Prathima and other staff here.

Today was better. I knew almost everyone at the school and many at the SVYM function. From a visitor, I have grown to be a volunteer and a friend in this place. I have participated in the discussion in the Recreation Committee meetings and to have some extent influenced the way the event was organized. The interaction with Dr MAB was as insightful as any of the earlier ones. The discussions on Independence vs. Swaraj and Equality vs. Equity were thought-provoking. These followed by the visit to Mysore made the day even more exciting. Prathima, Sophia and Sumalatha were there all along. Some eating, shopping, window-shopping, again eating and the long travel back made up our trip. I have had a really great time with them, especially Prathima. She has been one of my best friends here and is like anyone else. But the simplicity and openness to suggestions and ideas just puts her one step beyond. Another new place, another new friend… this surely is one thing I am always happy about – I find a friend everywhere (not in everyone though). It was yet another memorable day for me here. Not because of the work but thanks to the people around…

Yet another Independence day, yet another year. Life seems to be running fast, a cause for concern. So much to do, so less time to do. I am almost always caught up in a fix where I really find it difficult to strike a balance between 'productive work' and friends. Is it always a trade-off? I just can't find the answer. Nevertheless, either way I choose I still have the satisfaction of doing justice to one of my prime interests. Well.. eventually I would find the balance I just hope I don't run out of fuel before that. This entry I am sure ran all over the place and hence the title 'random'. This was supposed to be about the people - people who guide and people who befriend.

--buddi

A day I lived..

I lived a day today,

I live a day,

some alive some dumb.

I live a day,

a day of memoirs of life,

a day worthy of note, a day forgettable,

many etched into and drawn from,

another day I lived in my life.

What difference does it make,

today or another, o life!

I had by me a friend,

one who lives life,

smiles outside and taught to smile inside,

a friend I had today.

What more do I ask, o life!

--buddi

1915

17 - 07 - 2010

2 birthdays, 2 different days - 2

Kabini, as beautiful as ever!

2 birthdays, 2 friends.. 2 very different days

Exactly a year ago, I wrote a similar article about the same people. Time flies by, people change, surroundings change but friends and feelings hardly wither.

Uday still doesn't care about his birthday so I didn't waste my balance.. though I wished him I hoped that ManU wins on his birthday (which did happen!). And Uday still remains indifferent to wishes... :P. Well, thats him.. that the fellow I have always known. Now its 13 years and counting. This entry is about my other friend...

For the other, Bhavani, I had bought a card 364 days back and have been carrying it along with me to all the places I have visited. I couldn't get a gift for her... no reasons, just didn't know what to give. In the last one year, several things had happened... she chose to take up a job. I am touch with her but its never the same we were. We are no longer team-mates at the voluntary work, we no longer have chats over nights, no ice creams and coffee treats. We have moved on in our careers but I am still stuck at Satheesh's lab for the team meetings, Coffee day for the treats, Higginbothams for buying books for the library at Natham, British Council for taking membership, OAT for watching movies with other gang.. the list would go on. Not complaints.. just memories!

On April 18th, when I was travelling between Sargur and Mysore.. I was still having the card with me.. too late! I found out that there was a bus travelling from Mysore to Trivandrum and 2 tickets were left... GAME ON. Within moments, I decided to travel 750 km to deliver the card and meet my friend. That evening I found myself travelling in the last seat of the bus. It was a wonderful journey.. I always enjoy travelling and this has been my best. I have never felt so emotional or never has any trip brought back so many memories. When I did reach the place after a few hiccups and over 14hrs of travel, I finally saw her running from place to place in the bank.

I sat down and started reading a book... for almost two hours I was there but she never noticed me. When I saw her settle down in her chair... "Excuse me ma'am... your card". A flash of silence... I couldn't speak anything. I think that was the best feeling of a reunion I have ever had. She was equally surprised. I left the place immediately and we met later after the office hours for some time. And then I started back...

That was it. Nothing special happened.. but I came back with a heavy heart. I could barely sleep all night - I just didn't want to have only memories, I knew thats what I would be left with. I traveled over 1500km to meet my friend on her birthday. No one has so far asked me if I was insane after this incident (I have been careful not to tell such people). I know I am not, I have just had the best journey of my life - through the green, hilly landscapes of Wayanad, through the memorable days at college.

We have never been friends for long, we have never been long lost friends. We have just been special friends. Bhavani's blankness, when she saw me, is going to stay with me for a long time. I can never write about my happiness and satisfaction about meeting my friends. But, why not try... I might just inspire myself to meet another friend. Promises made, promises kept and promises to come.

I just love all my friends... some people are just too special. Always for them.

--buddi

1942

21-04-2010

Went and came back in the same bus

Football, Friends & Films

I have missed so much of these over the past few weeks may be over the months.. Time is supposed to be the medicine, but in my case it is getting worse.

I haven't played football in school for a year now I guess (may be more), which also indicates that all of us haven't met for a year and obviously we haven't gone to any movie together. This is one set... the same goes with all the friends I have.. this is the complaint book for the year.

Purri is so busy with his mini project. GOD knows what he is upto.. well, PSG has definitely turned him into the academic and lab in-charge. He has forgotten that once he hated to be at PSG... he has forgotten that he was once ready to play football any moment.. now I guess I have to explain him what a ball looks like. Thanks to Coimbatore which sucked out the little interest he had in movies... on the whole, Purri is heading for a hi-fi project under his guide next sem and then for a Ph.D in VSLI... May GOD help him. Purri was once the class' Thierry Henry.. I guess Henry sounds 'anonymous' to him now...

MBA babu.. when was the last time we had a chat? And the last time he played football with us... I guess I was a kid then. The last movie we saw together was Taare Zameen Par... December, 2007. One thing I am sure of is that this fellow will be the CEO of some company in a couple of years from now, would have settled in Mumbai (or a better place) and will send us an invitation for his marriage... ya, he was once the classmate for 12 years and I have know him for a little over 20yrs..

The Sweet Cousin.. got married and settled well! Suddenly my aunt's place looks so dull and I find no reason to go there when I am in Hyderabad... I miss my cousin. No mid-night ludo games or jokes or chocolate cakes. Obviously the movies went missing long long back! Once we used to talk about the college fun now we talk about her work in office! No wonder the frequency has come down from once a day to once in two weeks. Thats what marriage of a friend does to me.

Anirudh... once the satire GOD, now the PJ GOD. Full time busy creating more virus for McAfee. Seshendra... once the movie database and sweet shop, now in Pune. Sudheer... once the fool like me, now the secretary / head of CEA and what not... busy person these days in IIT. Amoeba is missing!

Uppi... the most hated of all, the most hated by all. I am kind of ashamed to say he was my bench-mate and team-mate for 10 years. He was the captain of the Class Cricket team. The one thing I am sure of... HE IS ALIVE! When reports last came in he was found in an ashram with a thick beard and without a mobile.. he is going to be Sri Sri Sri Upendrananda Swamiji Maharaj.. what ever crap. UPPI where ever you are, keep it in mind that your past will haunt you - you have one moron of a friend in me to tell about all the 'non-sense' we (and you in particular) did in school and life.

The INSEPARABLES - Mote and Idli.. one busy behind his girl and the other busy thinking what to do. Lazy idiots... never welcomed the suggestions like football, walks and so on..

I also miss Chikku a lot. I wish she was still around. Well, one thing everyone suggests... Life goes on, you should live as it comes. I beg to differ here, I don't know how many years I will have to live to make more friends like Uday, MBA babu, Uppu sami, Purri... I still have made some new friends - Mr.Logic, SP, Mimi and Bl, each special in their own ways and close to my heart. I love them. But none of them plays football..

@ Uday - Few months back, we used to talk about 3 fools missing friends and school days. I guess it is just 2 of us now. Surely the world is improving.

On 8th August, 1986 a Rob Reiner movie was released which ended with "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" May be he was right in some sense... friends we have at that age are valuable. I guess I just miss my friends.

Purri, where are you? That movie was your choice...

--buddi

0900

06 - 11 - 2009

One Day

One Day..

I knew I would meet someone great some day,
I knew all my innumerable dreams would take shape some day,
That some day would arrive 'one day'

I was told and rightly,
"If you are looking for a star in the sky,
don't wait for a starry night,
look into the glaring sun,
you would have just found your star!"

However foolish you might call,
the sun remains the brightest in the sky...

That 'one day' arrives today,
with the wait now put off
here I start wondering -
What took me so long?

--buddi
0253
02 - 09 - 2008

My dream team..

My dream team...
I dreamt a lot, I dream a lot, I will continue to... it is exciting. The innumerable possibilities and their consequences are so pleasing. Sometimes I feel I can survive just with my dreams, sometimes I fear I will be lost and forgotten in my dreams. Whatever it is, here is another of my dreams. My dream team.

16 people for the 16 places.

The King - Satheesh - I can't think of anyone better, he is the best team leader I have had and I don't see anyone filling his shoes any sooner.

The Minister - Anirudh - the humorous, friendly, hard-working and what ever possible. He is one of my best friends and advisors. There are few people who never take 'no' for an answer, he is the first one of that kind in my team.

The Rooks - Vijay & Kavya - I consider them to be the 'odd-ones' in the team. They like to be on their own. They are always working and do it the way they like it. They are not the 'ideal team-members', but still they do have the much necessary strong shoulders for the team.

The Bishops - Swathi & Bhavani - No replacements possible. Swathi's passion for her subject, Bhavani's committment to work, Swathi's smile, Bhavani's jokes, Swathi's PJs (?)... unique. Two very different persons, two different routes - I guess they justify their presence as bishops. Who takes the black square or the white one.. yet to be decided! Most of the times, your intent to do something or help someone is more than enough. It is these, around whom the interest levels in the team would keep running around.

The Knights - Uppi & Ravishankar - the work-horses of the team. Both of them are people who live up to their words, innovative in their approach and hence 2 of the 3 creative geniuses in the team. They do all the running around which most people would hesitate to take up.

The Pawns -

Uday - He is God. I have no explanation as to why he is a pawn, may be just that we almost never shared common interests. After being his team-mate for 5 yrs in school, I realised that there wouldn't be another Uday in my life again. He is a must in the team though I call him the 'crib-God', he is a God in several others.

Purri, Idli, Yeshwanth - The 'maalum nahi' trio. They are several times better than what Vijju has shown them as to the Orkut community. Purri is the 3rd creative genius in the team. Idli is the only-one who will support even if you say "murder Idli". Everyone of us look up to Yeshwanth, for his timely jokes, untimely bluffing... a comedian at mouth, a 'human' at heart.

Swetha - Why the hell is she here? I don't know... I have got used to her so much for the 22years I have lived, that I feel it is impossible to do anything without her being involved in it someway or the other. I have no better reason.

Sudheer - Enthusiasm at its peak... can it be better.

MLN Sri Harsha - I don't know him much, but the few times I have met him.. he has left an ever lasting impression. He is calm and composed and a great person at heart.

After mentioning 15 names, I am tempted to mention mine and thats the way it is. How can I think of a 'dream' team that has all my favourites and not me along with them..

I have a few more names whom I would like to include in my team, lack of place is a issue. They are (in the order of preference) Nalini, Shilpa, Padmapriya, Ardra, Mrudula, Praneeta and Aditya. It is interesting to note that while the team is male-dominated one.. the females in the additionals team out number the males by a huge margin. I have never worked with Aditya, my brother. I enjoy a special chemistry with him, communicating mostly with whistles and sign languages... in the very near future, I think he will be in my main team. Many people would question my choices, especially about the exclusion of a few of people... but this is the way it is. These are the ones I like to work with, I like to be with.

I have one more dream... do something that will put all of my team members at one place, but they still continue to do what they are most interested in. I often dream of helping people realise their dreams. This is my aim in life and I am still miles away from finding out how I can do it. This one bothers me, bothers me a lot. Can't help myself yet. Whatever stupid ideas I come up with are my attempts to achieve this... for one day in my life if it does happen, there would be nothing else left to achieve.

Hope I realize this dream, at least in my dreams.

--buddi
0846
6 - 5 - 2009

My friends owe me..

My friends owe me...

I have written here to let out my excitement, to let out my anger, to tell about my love, my hatred and so on... this one is out of frustration. My friends owe me too many things.. I am fed up of making diary entries. This is a highly "censored" and mostly "slang-free" version... if you want to read the original, be my friend for a year and it will be delivered on phone.

Yesterday, one of my friends left to her home... her last few lines being "I owe you some money and we also promised a treat, we will try to fulfill all the promises in the next semester... ". Why don't people realize that 3 months of vacation is a long time, I have been waiting endlessly for their treats and I don't have accounts on how much weight I would have shed thinking about all these. My grandmother keeps complaining about my diameter.. and so I complain. Here is a memory recall test for me... this is what my friends owe me.

• Starting with my first friend - my cousin... she owes me 3 chocolate cakes, 6 softies and what not. She is yet to give me a treat for the job, marriage, laptop (a pen drive is not a treat), Harry Potter books, photos I have taken, "dabba", teaching her to play cricket, giving her the bump on forehead, telling how 'hopeless' she was, not disturbing when she was sleeping, bleeding pinches I got, telling that her high-heels looked good (do you think that I was right), helping her eat 'well' at home and at parties, accompanying her to movies... Shit! I don't want to waste my blog space for her. Forget it.
  

• 56 ice-creams & a partnership... This is an interesting bit of statistics here which consumes most of my RAM these days. This friend had promised me as many as 56 ice creams so far (as per an agreement, details are classified.. :P, ice cream is more important) and promised to be a partner in the proposed ice cream factory (not my idea). Of the 56, some 7-8 have been given so far and when will the rest come... I am waiting. The business plan draft is ready and if it starts going, her share of production will be my treat, I guess. I am counting and 3-digit numbers are 10 times tougher to remember, so please start putting the ice-creams and company when I plan to eat.

• 3 sips from a Coke tin... Vijju, the one and only Vijju owes me this and has been pending for 9 years. It is high time... I have never asked him too much for being made to look like a fool for so many years whenever I was with this guy and another idiot. Keeping it pending for this long is bad. I agree he has sponsored Sprite a number of times at 5th Avenue Bakery, but Coke is Coke.

• 500 GB Memory in my brain & 2 hrs a week... the other idiot here. He has dumped so much about movies into my brain. Forget about the movies, the reviews and analysis would weigh a simple 500 GB of text files in my brain. Is it grey or white cells to add? I know whom to ask. I can't tell how different I am (I wouldn't call screwed up) after watching the movies he suggested... Dead Poets Society, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Shawshank Redemption, Crimson Tide, Straight Story, Seven Samurai, Yojimbo.. I don't even remember the names, I need memory. This idiot put me to Coke. According to him, Pepsi tastes like soap water... that was enough. Every week I spend at least 2 hrs looking for Coke. I want a payback!

• 2TB HDD (& 10 Mbps net)... Purri, this PSG fellow owes me a 2 TB HDD to live up to his expectations of providing him with all the football videos and movies he wants to see. For all the crazy movie names he mentions I would need a 10 Mbps net connection to download from the torrents or what ever non-sense he talks about. Luckily, I don't understand any of the torrent thing and I am spared of the movie download. For now it is the football videos, I am planning to ask him for some service charges and trust me, that would be a killing!

• Manuscript... I had promised one of my friend that I will publish her first book. I have my funding part ready. I am also finding out details of how to publish a book. All I am waiting for is the manuscript. It is not about the publishing, I just want to read the book.

• Blog space & Web Albums - I would like to write lots and I have to abuse a lot of people. All my friends owe me some blog space to share my views about them, you don't want to humiliated publicly. Infinite photos I have got in my comp, I can't spare anymore space for these. Too many important things and too less space. I just want to write down every memory I have before I end up being an amnesia patient. Don't smile, I have got few symptoms showing up and thanks to the IIT.. it will ensure that. I have too many things... I am losing it fast.
  

• Creativity & more friends... this is not something, people have promised me but I guess it is their moral responsibility. They have stolen my creativity. I am out of ideas to write something here or in Reading Between the Lines. They have set a few standards which hardly any one touches and looking for these I end up lengthening my list of non-friends. All you people, who are reading this you better help me...

Other things that no one has promised but still they owe me... football (all the B-section walas are you reading?), live music and dance performance, Vijju's autograph, a trip around India...

Well, I have cribbed enough I guess. I am feeling more relaxed now.

--buddi
0716
4 - 5 - 2009

Just when I was about to type my name.. I decided to use this chance to say to "sorry" to a dear one. Hopefully, it reaches the other end... I could never dare to tell that.

Tea served hot..

10. Tea served hot..

All of us talk about being in the wrong place... at least I do. I have written a hundred times about it I guess! But there are few people who choose not to complain and even fewer who make their way out... he is one of them...

Purri was one guy who always made his presence felt, this holds till date. Once in a while he reminded the teachers that he was there in the class with his laughter, his left-footed tackles and soft finishes, his participation in the cycle-meetings outside the school campus... he was omni-present! Well... in most of the cases he found himself in the “wrong” place at the “wrong” time...

How many times did he get thrown out of the class because laughed at some joke from the one and only Sastry? I am sure Purri didn't know so many numbers back then... oops! no, he was good at mathematics as far as I remember. Courtesy: Tution Point. That place had an epic in itself, do ask purri about it... I somehow believe that the 'little flesh' you see in his cheeks these days is because of the swelling he carries from those days...

Purri was a creative genius and continues to be (if PSG has spared him)... almost everyone knew what he was good at and what he was really bad at. Now how good would he be at remembering things.. take history for example.. he was a horror for the teachers! He struggled in exams, often setting the lower cut offs no would could ever cross. After repeated requests to improve his scores he was under real pressure... then he did the inevitable.. Came up with his answers. Creative answers.

For a question “Write short notes on Boston Tea Party”. He went on write that “Boston was a scientist who gave a Tea Party after he got the Nobel Prize for his scientific discoveries...”. The answer was read out loud and clear to everyone in the class. Everyone laughed... we laugh till date. It was emabrrasing for him... I wish I felt sorry for him. Purri carried his creative talent to PSG and is popular around there impressing upon the faculty. Back in school it was Social studies and today it is Very Large Scale Integration (that VLSI in short.... Purri did you know that??). His creativity is definitely taking him places...

After all the years I have known him... I can say that he may not be the best academic I have known, but he is surely among the best friends I have made. He is among the 2 or 3 people I know who misses the school days... who wants to be back in school and play football... who remembers every single detail of every single day just as it happened...

--buddi
0537
23 - 4 - 2009

2 birthdays, 2 different days

2 birthdays, 2 friends.. 2 very different days

Just 2 days apart.. 2 of my best friends had their birthdays. I wouldn't call them "celebrating birthdays", one continues to hate the job and the other continues to work on the assignments..

For one I didn't even bother to give a call to wish, but late in the evening I took the pain to send a message (just to feel that I was not as "dumb" as him) to which he responded as expected... No response! I knew it. I have known him for 12 years.

For the other's, I had been planning for at least a couple of months... read books to select from, chose gifts, selected cards and gift wrappers... finally and unsatisfactorily decided upon a few. Her friends bought her a cake and I talked to her in the early hours of the day. She was happy (I think / hope). I have known her for about 12 months.

Two very different friends any one would call... two very similar friends for me. Both listen to the unending trash I talk about and most importantly very very patiently. Both talk love and life and keep me going. They are my friends and what they do is very pleasing for me! I have written volumes of 'Reading Between the Lines' and wanted to write one more.. after 2 months I realized that I had wasted enough time trying to capture them. All that came out was 3 pages... far far away from reality. Well deadlines were so important earlier but not now.. no regrets not to have finished it this time. They are too big for a few lines on paper, but then I wouldn't stop writing (as I always tell). My proof-readers, editors and reviewers are most important of all - these are the ones! The best and dearest of mine is in the making and it will be a long time when it may arrive.

One of my friend asked me "U love him so much, dont u" .. Yes was my answer. I love a few more of my friends as much as I love them but few love me even more and here they are. They make me feel important and alive. They know every single failure of mine and celebrated every success of mine. They are special.

Happy Birthday to you both and "I am always there for you"

A cup of coffee?

--buddi
1244
19-4-2009

Long after you are gone

Sorry for the photo quality
Long after you are gone - DOOMSDAY (03 - 07 - 2008)

Long after you are gone

Long after you are gone
I think I can see you around
lots to talk and share
but it would never happen

Long after you are gone
I think those smiles will still be with me
lots to listen to
but it would never happen

Long after you are gone
on a breezy winter night
with the lights still on
I think I will still feel you around

But I was sleeping for long
for one thing I failed to realise -
Long after you are gone
I wouldn't be there for so long

--buddi
1125
09 - 06 - 2008

A phoney attempt...

At the end of this effort
I have a question for myself
what is it, that has come out?

nothing special at all
all is left to be declared 'a PHONEY attempt'
for I can never understand her
"I am far from where they are"

for this person is bigger than life
she is the leaf with a thousand veins exposed
she is smile on my face
she is the Smile

attempt after attempt fails
all attempts, I make, only DEROGATE her
all of it just dissolves away in tears
all of it just falls apart

you could still question
is that all?
I don't want to be CURT
I just don't want to be

but I knew I would never complete
still I know I would never complete

yet I make this MELANCHOLIC effort
when she is still around,
for long after she is gone -
I wouldn't be there for long

for I want to carry ahead
a handful of memories
a handful of blessings
and a handful of lessons
O! she has showered over me a lot
I don't know what to choose

Need I ask for more
need I live to long for more
I do -
the least I can live for
stand for her reason
stand for her

May all her dreams come true
May she get all she asks for
she will lead a happy life
I know she will lead a happy life

I would tell 'her' memories
Please stand by me
for you define me
for you I live
for you make me live

attempt after attempt fails
this was just another attempt

--buddi
0302
9 - 7 - 2008

A Cup of Coffee?

A Cup of Coffee?

"A cup of coffee,

a stroll to an unknown place,
a rain walk,
a bouquet of flowers,
beautiful memories..."

Borrowed from *******'s card - A card everyone deserves!

A cup of coffee? The best message that goes out of my phone... and the best message I have ever received! There is something special in a coffee, I have never seen a face other than a smiling one having a coffee. The technical details of any coffee are always a let down! Blended with chicory, high contents of caffeine, has over 600 varieties of carcinogens, causing anemia, and so on. But still people take it and take it happily. I haven't met anyone who complains about coffee...

Whenever my message is sent to the "Coffee" list in my mobile (it has 6 contacts) at midnight, I know it is going to be a good one hour ahead. And when I am into the celebration mood the message reaches "Coffee big" list. Everyone shares their experiences - good and bad - just tell what ever you want. A great time to vent out anger, to share the joy, to have friendly argument, to get fatherly advice, to shower motherly love and to have fun, loads of fun. It is a great feeling to see people talking while having coffee. It gives great satisfaction to be a part of those fine moments. And this feeling knows no boundaries when you are the one who has called for the 'meet' - a meet with no agenda. Usually I like to sit at one end of the table and I listen to them... but there have been times when I become really talkative (when only 2 or 3 of us are there) and people have suffered... :P

Lots and lots of variants of coffee - Espresso, Cafe Latte, Cafe Mocha, Cappuccino, Chococinno, Madras Filter Coffee (or the Kaapi Nirvana), Cafe Americano, Cafe Caramel, Frappe, Macchiato. Irish Coffee, Aztec, Ethiopian, Cold Sparkle, Iced Eskimo, Trpocial Iceberg, Devil's On.... as far as I remember. Different tastes, different colours, hot and cold but the spirit of coffee is always the same. I have known people more and more over these cups. From acquaintances to the best of friends everyone becomes someone you know better. I have relished every second of these meets with my friends. Sometimes attended by only me and sometimes by almost everyone. These are moments when people put behind all the deadlines they have to meet and the time tables they have drawn for themselves, these are the moments I live for. I wish everyone has as many of these as possible. Just share and enjoy. Live the moment!

Well, Coffee Day is right - A lot can happen over coffee!

A ritual I followed for over a year, in its final days - tough to stop and also tough to push in new memories into the already crowded brain! A comfortable compromise in the end. But somewhere the message is still delivered once in a while... I miss the meets, I miss the replies... "No. :-)", “Already at tiffanys”, "Hmmm... not tonight..", "Hmm...I dont think i can make it”, “In tiff only :)”, “Just had :)”, “Yes.”... where do I go now? where do I kill that one hour?

A cup of coffee?

-- buddi
0731
17 - 01 - 2009

The time with you

The time with you

All the time I spent with you
all that I wished I did
when questioned, 'why?'
I had to say, 'why question why?'

One day you would be far
a hard truth to take
One day you would be someone big
a thing that would come true

Things would change forever
I know you would still be the same for me
every moment of these meetings
would be lived again!!

I just want more of these
always into a confusion
do I disturb her, may be some other time...
may be the time would never come again...

It does pain, a tough decision to make
but as I think over again
I agree I spend lots of time
with her, with her memories

What more do I want
I know mine, all reason is a lie
just followed my heart
need I say more.

But when you question, 'why?'
I would still be the same
worn-out guy I was

--buddi
0120
15 - 09 – 2008

Home, Sweet Home!

Home, Sweet Home!

Home, Sweet Home!
Few wait to be back,
Few on a journey to find one,
Eventually everyone has one.

Be it
the lonely bird,
the deserted house,
the travelling Ravi,
or yourself...

Everyone will be back home
Home, Sweet Home!

--buddi
0245
18 - 11 - 2008

You are special!

You are special!

No questions ever raised,
no reasons ever seeked,
as simple as it sounds,
as simple as this is

You are special!

I wish to learn,
I wish to live,
with thoughts to be shared,
with memories to be taken forward...

I admire, I envy,
hardly anytime left,
too many to catch up with,
you are too BIG to explain

You are special!

--buddi
0438
15 - 11 - 2008


PS: This is about a couple of my friends. They know its about them.. for the rest it is about some one you would like to be...

A start or an end

Courtesy: Internet

A start or an end

Please forgive me...
I now know I was wrong,
but there is hardly any that I can do now
it is out of my hands now

If you are still feeling low
please tell me...
anything I can do to help you
Please forgive me

Your words still play with my mind
I have learnt my lesson
but I was made to pay
I repent for what I created
Are things just going to end here?

No not again,
I can't take any of this more
lost in between thoughts
tiring and lonely - the last thing I want

Was it the end I hoped against
Was it just a better start that you showed
don't know what to take from it
unless you say something more

As I wait for that and look into the dark day
I still don't know what I think about
but one thing I want to say again
please forgive me

--buddi
0401
27 - 08 - 2008

PS: An ice-breaker... nothing comes so easily, so was this one. I couldn't think of something better... Hope things get better. I owe all of this and the ones yet to come here, to a friend of mine. Someone about whom I haven't yet written... things just don't end with a "thank you"... things just don't end here. Thank you my dear friend.

Courtesy: Internet

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

A never ending expanse of water,
caught in between hills of forest green
the horizon missing on every side
the clouds waiting to bless

No human greed to be seen
I am here, it was a splendid moment
all things, all worries seemed to have lost -
their importance, but it wasn't to be so

I wish you were here
this was a place to be
I remember - you asked for it

Every second memories flooding my mind
enjoying every moment of it
I let myself loose
unbounded thoughts, my heart taking giant leaps

Now, I want someone to share with
I wish you were here
you are the one so dear
with whom I can share anything

I miss you now
I wish you were here...
its going to be a long wait
until I meet you

--buddi
1244
07 - 07 - 2008


The picture doesn't really fall into the class of "paintings". But I would like to call it one. Exceptions can be made for me...