Taare Zameen Par

aaah... I am not good at writing reviews but this deserves one...

to be simple and straight-forward -

If you have got a heart and if you feel you can listen to your heart-beat,
then this movie is for you... go watch and get back...

watch, feel, enjoy...

INDIAN RAILWAYS AND INDIAN PSYCHOLOGY

Indian Railways and Indian psychology - each others' fodder

This is being written to express my disgust over each of them... first, the bribing in Indian Railways (IR)- one of the most wide spread and unchecked plague in the single largest employer of the world. Why should a person having paid the whole amount for a waiting list ticket have to bribe the TTI to get a berth confirmed (and if you are not ready to pay, you can be sure that you will never get a berth)??

The fault lies on both the sides... first the public for being such idiots and muddle-heads for failing to realize that they have already more than what is required (as IR records around Rs15000crore of profit yearly). And the second group to be blamed is of course the government employees, who are the Midas-like people - perhaps they don't know that whatever bribe they take is being used to improve their luxury which results in growing their belly and that finally leads to death because of heart-attack or cancer one day. Every rupee they take will move two rupees away from them when in need... people give it a thought...

and one more such instance is the seat sharing part... every person in the waiting list deserves a seat... perhaps the only mistake they would have done was that they booked their tickets late... every passenger has an equal responsibility in helping them out..

keep thinking!!

this article has been left in between...

GRID's 1st year... Dream vs. Reality...

There is always a difference between a dream and a reality... even if a dream comes true... the following is a critic's account on the work of GRID so far...

1st October, 2006 - I got this wonderful idea of starting a group for rural development and started working on its structure and functioning and less than a week later, I found my first few members (Idli, Kavya and Harsha)... The mood was upbeat, I didn't want friends in the group... I wanted people who talked about work first and then anything else, but I had no other go but to start with friends...

By the end of October, I had answers for almost every question that could be raised about its functioning... the only thing I didn't have was the support... I could already see signs of people losing confidence and interest in the whole idea... I have always believed in hand-picking my team but that was not the case here... then I asked my favorite 3 for their support... Uppi, Uday and Vijju... Uppi for his brilliant management skills and to handle people, he could win over anyone with his words... Uday and Vijay for their excellent ideas and Vijju especially for his expertise in computers for maintaining website and related stuff. Uppi agreed right away but Uday and Vijju agreed to stay out of any direct activity but assured all sorts of help they could...

Meanwhile few others joined and we decided upon the activities we would take up... B-Plans & Projects for a start... we then decided upon 5 topics... 2 of them to be started right away...

In Hyd in my bedroom talking to Uppi and Idli, I got these wonderful ideas of JaRID and the coconut business plan... over the next 3 nights I spent close to 10hrs making rough drafts of the proposals... in the next week I met Ravishankar, the best candidate to work as a team leader for JaRID... and I pulled in Satheesh, the most respectable GRID member for his invaluable comments... I was expecting other people to show some interest to do something about the coconut plan for the fast approaching Genesis Competition... but as the rule goes... no response!!

These were the first signs of myself getting irritated... I always liked the coconut business plan more than JaRID as I have been seeing the plight of the workers, the farmers (even my father) for over 15 years... that was something I could directly relate to... with other mounting pressures I decided to quit JaRID and concentrate more on this... then I started talking to Uday and Kavya about it... never informed anything to anyone else... finally we did something, it wasn't the best but decent enough...

By then I had understood that things were going to become really tough from then... a handful of other ideas had totally flopped... weekly online conferences, weekly discussion on social issues, the projects, proposed trips to ICRISAT and some villages... most of them were limited to the first proposal mail... then Idli came up with this idea of newsletter... it took us more than a month after the finalised deadline to get the first 3 articles... with the promises made by Kavya and Uppi ending up as un-kept ones, I really have no interest to take up another issue of it... effectively there was more work done by Vijay than any other GRID member...

My hatred for the members reached a new high and as a result 5 to 6 members were kicked out... but things never change... except for a new addition Praneeta who has loads of enthusiasm for this, I don't see any future for GRID as a group to exist...

But what was the dream... Where did I get it wrong?

activities... I was looking for a group on whom other Well I was looking for a group of people who would volunteer to do things they can see from the THINGS TO DO list in the website... I was looking for people who were willing to sacrifice some of their spare time for trying to help out fellow Indians... I was looking for a group whose activities would attract funds from outsiders (sufficient for our basic necessities)... I was looking for a hyper-active and huge group which would need a separate team to look after Internal activities... I was looking for a group to volunteer in other NGOs ... I was looking for a group on which NGOs could rely on for technical support... I was looking for a group which would constantly be on trips to some place or the other... I was looking for a group which could hire an agricultural expert for clarification of doubts raised by farmers...

May be I got it wrong everywhere... I just took people for granted...

but one thing remains as a truth... GRID has been my dream, will be in future... just a bunch of non-interested INDIANS can't get me off-track... it may not exist as a group but I will always be there...

--buddi
0642
29-11-2007

Social Issues & Indian Solutions

SOCIAL ISSUES AND INDIAN SOLUTIONS

Social issues are arguably the most complicated problems ever faced by mankind. Issues ranging from war to drought, all come under this title. India faces a unique challenge in coming up with feasible solutions to these problems. “Unique” in the sense that the receiving end is often suspicious and the bureaucracy is often polluted.

One should agree that, since independence, it has been a slow but decent progress. The time ahead could be the worst phase we could ever think of. Even though it is being termed and projected in a much more attractive way, coming ahead is an era of social crisis, an era of misunderstanding and mismatch of the need and the supply in every means.

In the present context, there is a war building up. A war between sensible citizens, corrupt political circles, environmentalists, social activists, media and so on. Everyone is contributing their part to this mess up. Everyone feels that they are right and their issue is of more importance and needs to be addressed. Even small issues are often blown out of proportion which gives rise to unrest elsewhere.

Only thing we can do is to try to build up a society which is self-sufficient at the lowest level. Self-sufficiency in every sense should be the goal. From water for irrigation to income generation to help in case of calamities everything should be taken care of. The solution seems quite difficult to achieve but with careful planning it is possible and has been proved to be successful in quite a few places.

As a general thought it can be accepted that multi-centered development could always be a success story. This confidence in the idea will help in taking the plan a step forward. As it said a work once started is half done. The whole idea behind this proposal is the thought that prevention is better than cure.

Water management in India can be seen as one of the biggest problem. The first thing that has to be analyzed here is the cause. Cities tend to use more water than they have, in fact more than what the adjacent areas can also supply. It is for the governing bodies to realize that and act responsibly. But the governments tend to show more importance (quite unnecessarily) to the comfort of these income generating pockets and often try to divert river waters and thereby denying the people in the lower basins of the water for agriculture, the very source of income for rural India. The Government has made an effort to implement the rain water harvesting plan in a few of the cities but it has never been taken seriously. The industrial sectors should be made to setup their own water purifying units to put the water to better use

Construction of micro-projects for water management is a wonderful solution for this problem in dry agricultural lands. But the Government seems to be negligent of this fact and the best example of this is the Narmada valley. At a few places the micro-projects have been constructed and are also being run quite successfully. But these are soon going to be submerged. Among other questions to be answered there are also environmental concerns. There was no attempt ever made so far to study the possible disasters of having such a large reservoir of water in that area (those districts are considered delicate points on the earth’s tectonic plates… remember the earthquake of Lathur??).

The relocation of the people for the sake of construction of a water project for the urban people and RELIANCE Industries is a foolish idea in this context. They are submerging thousands of hectares of cultivated land for the sake of cities and industries which are very poor in their water management. Doesn’t it sound ridiculous?? While the government claims to be building this project for the farmers of the dry districts of Gujarat, according to Medha Patkar only 4% of the water that will be diverted will reach the farmers (even if she is not right, the truth is the same).

Well this is just one example of the strategies that often go wrong. But there are a few things that can be appreciated. The plan of the SEZs is an example. The government wants to create centers of self-sufficiency. But there is a problem even with this, they are sacrificing fertile agricultural lands, instead they could go for the utilization of the waste lands. It’s all a matter of clever utilization of the resources we have.

Now how can this be achieved?? Each of these centers should be made autonomous in terms of money and judiciary. For this the governing bodies at the lowest level should be strengthened and be made answerable to the local people. This has the following advantages: (1) the people can answer their needs in a better manner and faster, (2) the people will have a feeling of satisfaction that their money is being put to use for their upliftment. The second point is the main cause of this Telangana controversy, people in coastal regions feel that their money has been poured into Hyderabad which was never of any use to them. But this idea has to be kept under constant check; the people have to be alert and should feel their responsibility.

Every system has its pros and cons, it’s just a matter of how responsible we feel and how sensibly we act. One could always ask me, “There are many great minds at work in the governing bodies, how can you blame them?” I would say, “these great minds are often overpowered by uneducated, politically anxious idiots. Do you think a great mind proposed ‘the free electricity plan’? Do you think a great mind signed off Rs440 millions for water projects without having any idea of where to build a dam? All these are political manipulations for personal gains, which will turn out to be disasters in the future.”

There are many more issues to be argued about… pollution, militancy and terrorism, liquor, reservations in educational and government organizations, taxes, crimes... this list is endless…

You are the best judge for your deeds… think!! Are you eligible to use the water you waste? land you use for constructions? There are many things you will have to answer…

DO THINGS FOR THE RIGHT CAUSE AT THE RIGHT MOMENT.

Jai hind

--buddi
1600
17-06-2007

A Brief History of Time

A Brief History of Time - Stephen Hawking



Considered as one of the best science books ever written or the record-breaking bestseller... I feel this book deserves more... This is not just an account of latest work in theoretical astrophysics or a textbook on Bing Bang or Black holes (as it is commonly referred to)... It is a work, a masterpiece, a comic for the young aspiring physicists... hard to imagine anything better coming up in the near future.

The book is a real time account of things... it is exactly the way you would study something. Your journey starts with history... Aristotle's view of the Universe and by the time you come down to Einstein in 1910s... you would have met the giants - Ptolemy, Copernicus, Galileo, Kepler, Newton, Hubble and the less popular Olbers, Kant, Popper.

Once the stage is set for what you want to know about... THE UNIVERSE, Hawking takes you on a rough ride through the yester years and the work in the fields of light and General Relativity... the ride is rough in the sense that it is very teasing and requires an alert mind to make out what he is telling. When you feel you have understood things... Hawking takes a look out of the window and says... "HEY!! there is a whole new thing going on there".. here comes Quantum Mechanics. Trying to draw the consequences from both the fields Hawking leads us into trouble... here he says,"I am trying to set things right"...

And rest is the story how he does it... meanwhile he shows you some tools you need to pick up... Its for you to read and enjoy the rest...

Sprinkled with humor and few incidents from his life... all together they make up a 180pg wonder... and Carl Sagan's Introduction just adds to the fun... a must-read book!!

buddi
1207
17-6-2007

Nuclear Physics - an overview

Actually written for school students... I thought I should put it up here...

Nuclear Physics – a fascinating subject

S PRAVEEN KUMAR

E=mc² ... In class 9, I was taught this simple equation. This is one of the most popular equations of science and it was given by none other than Albert Einstein. What does it mean? It mathematically tells us that mass (which you can see or feel) can be converted to energy (which cannot be seen or felt) and vice-versa. This was given as a part of Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity which talks about things becoming longer, clocks slowing down and many more counter-intuitive and very interesting ideas.

Everyone might have heard about the nucleus. The nucleus has protons (positively charged) and neutrons, but how are they held together? Protons should be repelled by each other, isn't it? They are held together by an enormous force called “Nuclear Force”, which is several times stronger than the Coulomb force of repulsion between the protons. Existence of such a force also implies the presence of an enormous amount of energy. Where does this energy come from? Some of the mass of the nucleus is converted to provide this energy. Nature is clever! The mass lost in the conversion is termed as mass-defect and the energy produced is called binding-energy. More the binding-energy per nucleon more stable the nucleus is (find out the most stable nucleus). It is this binding energy which is of interest for us.

Humans are trying to tap this vast energy using two types of nuclear reactions called nuclear fission and nuclear fusion. Nuclear fission reaction is used in modern day nuclear reactors and the fuel used is uranium, plutonium or thorium. The atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki was based on the same principle. Nuclear fusion reactions have so far been out of human reach. Though we have made the H-Bomb or the Super Bomb which works on this, we are unable to control it and put it to better use. The sun gains all its energy from this reaction. Scientists have been trying to replicate that reaction in a controlled manner. India is a member of the seven member group working on a project called ITER (International Thermonuclear Experiment Reactor) working on these lines. The ITER program is anticipated to last almost 30 years and cost over $13billion, which makes it one of the most expensive modern techno scientific mega projects.

There are also other areas of modern day research going on; these include particle physics, nuclear structure, hadron physics, neutrino physics, nuclear astrophysics and so on. All these began as a part of nuclear physics but today they are vast subjects. They are many research facilities working round the clock in these areas. To name a few CERN, KEK, FERMILAB, Argonne, GSI, SLAC, DESY, Brookhaven, Budker INP, JINR and CEA. Every year billions of dollars are being spent on research in these fields. Can't we put the money to better use is a question always raised. Everything we discover has its pros and cons; it is for us to make a judicious use of the available technology.

---buddi

1830
24-11-2007

90 percentile days revisited...

This semester so far...



With my working capabilities touching new lows, it becomes more and more necessary for me to set things right before things slip out of control. This is just another account of the same failed promises I made (to myself)...

Every time I write a new entry here or in my personal diary I start out with a new league of promises (perhaps no one knows about them), I consider it to be the last time I would be doing this... but as you see this seems to be a vicious circle...
The latest academic updates include a 'W' grade in a subject (lack of attendence) and I don't how many are to follow.... exams are going on, I will get back with exact figures...

My CGPA had fallen to a disastrous 5.2 at the beginning of this sem, I then thought things could be set right but it wasn't so... this has by far been my toughest sem in IIT and the results I can say will not be very impressive either. All this puts me into a serious doubt of whether I will be able to finish my B.Tech in 4 yrs...

On the contrary, there have been really memorable moments so far... I completed my first research project in nuclear physics and it got selected for the Symposium on Nuclear Physics 2007, which I will be attending in December. My research project has earned me new credentials and contacts and these would assure some project work or the other for the next 3 years atleast... It has also helped me earn a 3-month internship (starting May, 2008) at IGCAR where I will be working on Heat Exchanger Design for nuclear reactors and Reactor Physics.

I took some classes in about 6 schools for class 7, and it was immensely satisfying and enjoyable (after all teaching is what I always wanted to do!!). The group GRID has decided to organise a competition in our school in the last week of December, it is one thing I have always dreamt of... and it has started working, it won't be long before all my dreams are realised. JaRID, born out of my idea as part of GRID work, has made it to the GK3 Forum, where it has been listed in top 100 social entrepeneurship plans in the world... just can't imagine it.

I played football, cricket, tried Kabaddi and also played rugby at 2 in the night. I bought many of my "must-buy" books (though not yet started reading them). Did watch some movies, documentaries... And arguably the best of all, the 5 days I spent with my friends... just can't get better.


Getting back to where I started... I would now say the semester hasn't been so awful, just that I failed again in acads but otherwise it was a great one... I thoroughly enjoyed most of the time... Well all those unkept promises I started are true... let them be safe in my diary as I give myself another chance... if I fail this time... then... lets seee

Did I get back to my 90 percentile days ??
Yes / No / may be / not sure... I would decide it later but what stands in front of me is an enormous task of getting out from IIT... 4 more exams to go for this sem to end.. just hoping to help myself pass in all of those...

--buddi
0455
24-11-2007

P.S. Now that I have started wrting again, the next article of LOOKING BACK will be up soon... just keep your fingers crossed!

Drifting away...

Its been a really long time since I have written something here. It has been becoming tougher and tougher for me to keep this going and keep up the momentum... I am involuntarily drifting away from all this... unable to keep promises made, unable to realise dreams... I am now totally drained both mentally and physically...

promising that I will be back soon... with something better

Always yours
buddi

The Radio show...

5. The Radio show...

9th Class..
I can bet everyone has loads of memories of this event... I am among those very few who don't remember much... I will try to put down as many things as possible...

PRE-SHOW PLANNING - what all should we have in the show... and as usual "girls" came up with some hopeless ideas... a few got approved... then Ms.Rajeshwari comments "boys in this class are useless" (not the same words but something similar)... well the warm-blooded guys couldn't take this... then began the real show... the Veerappan interview, all the adds, every single joke enacted (i think a few were given by those girls), the game show, the music show were planned and done by "us"... all that was left for the girls was some background score which was copied from "jingle bells" tune, announcers and lots of places on the dais to be occupied just to add to the confusion...

full credits to Tarun (tatvit das) for that Veerapan interview... he wrote the dialogues.. he became the interviewer and thanks to pp and purri for suggesting that Sastry would play the lead-role... few things from this event... the Khakis which were very lose for Sastry, the fake moustache we had it drawn on his face with pencil (that belonged to a girl).... the famous lines "amma and appa used to call me Veeru", " if you come once again I will kidnap you", the gun which slipped into his pants, the way tarun shivered to gather his kerchief... and the most important part of this was when Ms.Preethi Baskaran, our maths teacher, came to know about Sastry's role and she warned him, "If you don't submit your notebook by tomorrow I will not allow you to participate in the event" and then she turns around and walks into a class.. then Sastry replies quite loudly.. "If you don't allow me, I will kidnap you"... GOD save Sastry!!!

the adds... most of them were recommended by the TWINS and Tija was their actor... headphones which convert teacher's scoldings into sweet music (Krishna was a member of the ELITE group which regularly got a scolding... may be this inspired him to think of this),
some shoes for fast walking (well, the twins joined the lines after the assembly... i don't remember a day when they attended assembly in 9th and 10th... another inspiration)

the music show... "D-section".. if such a hopeless section had it, why shouldn't we have it... for them Arun shankar played tabla... for us the professional Nili (too-much dressing sense i should say) played the violin and believe me it was one of the best part of the show...

the jokes: the casting included naveen (i then called him "bunny"... now i call him "the smiling long man"), tija, dharmendra, myself...(i don't remember others).... I made the announcement "today we are here to entertain you with a few jokes".. but the strange thing no one noticed till date... i was never in any joke...

The anchors were Nirukta and Arpitha... the second one came with a sleeveless yellow dress... i heard some one say "apne aap ko kya samaj rahi hai re!!!".. i think it was uppi... I think there were other girls but it never made any difference...

the game show... A-section had tried it and failed terribly... so it was first ruled out but Tija wanted it badly... so the last day of the rehearsal uppi, tija and myself stayed back, we planned to have one... what about the events??? we had no idea.. "ok lets have some shooting event".... and some other event.... then i told, " i have lots of marbles at home... i will get them, we will see what we can do"... and then we packed for the day...

why did Tija want the game show??? a secret then... he had a crush on Padmini of E-section.. he wanted to have her on stage somehow... but that wasn't very pleasing for me, I thought I will do something for Vijay then... even Vijju was behind the same girl... so we found out their roll numbers... Next day we had some arbitrary shooting event in which the winner shot one balloon (the reason being the balloons were losing air and they didn't blast)... now came the most important part... Uppi called out the first team... on stage the proposed event was - one of them had to throw marbles and the other had to catch them with a bowl... then I thought of something worse right there... one would hand over the marbles one by one, and the other would run across the stage to drop them in a bottle.... Uppi was a silent spectator of all this, he didn't know what was going on... now the job was to see that this team loses... i started the stop watch and called out after 5 seconds "start"... at that very moment i knew it was job half done... i had to call the other team onto the stage... I had set aside the 2 numbers the day before when i made those tokens... I quickly pulled out the numbers and called them... there was a big roar from the E-section... Vijju managed some decent number in the running... and they won... Who do you think was our chief guest??? it was none other than TIJA, he bought big DAIRY MILK chocolates for the winners, all from his pocket money...

the interesting thing was people never thought I was the culprit in the whole thing... Uppi was getting the stick from everyone... in fact he even got a comment from the teacher on this... everytime I heard about this, I had a rather big smile on my face.. no one ever noticed that also....

These were a few moments from our radio-show... once again we proved we were the best one of all sections... 'D' managed a decent show, 'A' put up a bad one... but these were before ours and once we were done with ours.... I didn't care to attend the others...

You would have observed that this article was a bit anti-female.... hehe... ya it was intentional... that was the state of my mind at that time...

NOW.. I don't know...

I tried to copy "VIJAY's style" in writing this... but I don't think I did it with much success....

P.S: sorry, if i have hurt you.. that was then... not now...

The most feared moment..

4. The most feared moment...

10th class...

there was a row to the right of the class directly facing the window beside the board... It was ours...

Ajinkya and Rahul in the first..
Ramu and Tarun in the second...
Nili and ?? in the third.. Uday and Vijju were seated behind them while uppi and I shared the last bench... It was the best seating arrangement possible... these pairs had been formed over the previous couple of years (the first bench was new to school...)... not that we didn't like the others but we had that extra bit of it for our partner...

I should admit that I was a bit jealous of Uday... he had pulled Vijay towards him... he had pulled the Vijay with whom I spent every moment of school till then... (vijju and me had been classmates since LKG...).. uday and vijju were so much attached to each other that they would not play any sport if they were in opposite teams... well the distance between our places was less than a feet but it mattered...

Even Uday meant a lot to me... we had done wonders in the 3yrs of our friendship (though we were in the same class for 4yrs..) in fact I and Vijju moved to SM because Uday was in SM, and for that I had to give up SV... I had been in SV for 11yrs.. some special liking for it..

we all had big plans for the new year... GEOMAP, Inter-House, Class Football, other team events...

we all had this habit of teasing some guy or the other... all of us would unite to tease one... Nili was the most frequent sufferer... he never replied back... one day it became a bit too much... everyone could see the change in his face, most of us stopped.. but uday went on, vijju had become a bit concerned over the whole issue... he asked to uday to stop at once... in fact it was quite loud... but uday had got carried away... this resulted in a heated argument... the only thing others could do was watch, hoping things will settle, they were the closest of friends.. no one ever expected this...

around the same time, we heard the school bell... there was silence, shock... Vijju left off without a word... then Uday came up to me and shouted, "it is over ra... no GEOMAP this year" and then he left... I couldn't utter a word... where did it start and where did it go... everyday Vijju, purri, uppi and I went home together, but that day Vijju went alone... Uppi and I went together that day... both knew what was running in our minds but we couldn't talk to each other... near Uppi's house, on the road Uppi finally came up with a few words, "everything will be alright, I am sure you will get a call from both of them, by the time you go home"... Tears were ready to roll down... I somehow managed to hide them from Uppi...

After I reached home, I went straight to the bathroom... sat down weeping... many things seemed to run in front of me... the COKE tin we shared, our runs on the roads of Osmania University, the wonderful SHADNAGAR trip, our celebrations after we won GEOMAP the previous year, the LAYS packet uday used to buy every time we went out... I thought it was all over... after about 15 min my mother asked me "what are you doing for so long?? theres not even a sound..."

After I went out, I heard the phone ringing... I prayed to every GOD that it should be Uday and it was... he was sorry for what had happened.. he had talked to Vijju and everything was fine... I was relieved!!!

and then everything went back to normal... in fact we had a small laugh over all this the next day... but it was the most feared moment of my life... many things happened after that, but this was the worst...

Well, Uday was right... fights strengthen friendship... and this story should be a memory not something you would feel bad about every time you thought of it...

today I can bet you wouldn't see a better trio than ours... you wouldn't find any in future...

The English 2nd Unit Test...

Just another act of Friendship... but it went the wrong way...

3. The English 2nd Unit Test...

RIBBIN - fair complexion with a few extra pounds of body fat and many extra tonnes of friendliness...Once he borrowed a pencil (new one) from me... by the time he returned it, at the end of the period... it was hardly 2 inches long... I knew I was going to have a tough questionnaire on this at home, I laughed over my helplessness and this guy cut a sorry face for me... it all began there... we went on to become very close friends (until he left the school)... When our teacher asked some one to help him in his acads, I volunteered to sit beside him and help him... we ate together, wrote notes together, played together...

ENGLISH TEACHER - sorry to say but I don't remember her full name... she was new to the school... was our class teacher... part of her name was "chakrabarthy" according to her... I argued a lot over this with my parents that it was a 'b' not a 'v' in her name... she was very very friendly... I used to help her in totalling the marks for the report cards, the moment I finished mine she used to write rank 1 beside that (before finishing totalling others..). she used a "HERO" pen with red ink... one of the first ink pens I ever saw, I was so impressed that I decided that I would only write with an ink pen... in fact I stuck to my decision for over 2 years, even today I have a modest collection of about 15 ink pens... just a bit lazy to fill the ink frequently...

AKANSHA PRAKASH - plays the traitor (sorry for that!!)... she joined in 2nd or 3rd... she was good, friendly (not bad at least..).. her name was under research in our class, why does part of her name match with the tube light brand 'Prakash Surya'... ?? If my memory doesn't cheat me... she was using 'APSARA executive' pencil through out (which no one else used..).. she had a scissor which cut paper in some design and a sketch pen set which was different from everyone elses...

Class 3... 2nd bench... English 2nd Unit Test... no seating arrangement..

20min into the exam... Ribbin asked for some help and I didn't hesitate... in fact before flipping pages I confirmed from him that he had finished... After the exam, I was very excited that I had helped a friend, then I did the mistake (??)... I told Akansha about the whole thing... and she promised me that she won't tell anybody about this...

A couple of days later, the teacher asked me if I had helped him... the answer was a stubborn 'NO'... but Akansha testified that I had helped that guy and that I asked her not to tell anyone... I stuck to my answer... meanwhile she called up Ribbin and made him write the exam again... he only managed 3 marks against 19 he got, with the same question paper... I felt terrible... I thought I was going to get a beating... It didn't happen...

after that day... it took me around 7 years to get back to those habits... this time at receiving end (Vijay was the one helping me in a Hindi exam...)...

well I feel I did a mistake... you are not always helping your friend... sometimes you cheat him tooo..

today I have no idea where Ribbin is.. neither do I have any idea about that teacher... I hardly talked to Akansha after she moved to another section in 6th... thanks to her, she sent me a scrap a few days back...

people come into your life, people move out... but only a few leave these everlasting impressions... they leave these MOMENTS OF YOUR LIFE for you to look back to, for you to relish them... All this is just an attempt to keep at least a few of those intact...

thanks to Ribbin, Akansha and the teacher...

--buddi

The "ROWDY" Class...

"violence is a fashion,
violence is a passion,
violence is a wakeup call for the destruction..
jaga jaga mantha jagadam"

2. The "ROWDY" Class...

CAST: ujwal (dada), vijju, avi, uppi, koundi, tija, sandy, ribbin, shiva, thumesh, buddi... (i am sure i missed a few)

TAGLINE: put chutney in their eyes

PLOT: We were a small group of guys always fighting with the A-section fellows in the lunch break in 2nd class. Though I don't remember much about our opponents, I can recollect a bit about those tussles. It somehow was a matter of pride for us with everyday points and yearly championship...

Our captain was Ujwal who led us from the front... "put 'chutney' in their eyes"... those were the instructions we got. Ujwal was the naughtiest guy in our class and hence the most capable leader there. I don't remember a day when we lost under him. He fixed up a kind of honour code to be followed strictly... part of it was a compulsory bubble gum in your mouth. Koundi almost always invested for most of us... he used to buy those colourful POPS.. which costed 25np each.

Our standard (mutually agreed) fighting grounds were the back gate and the area around the auditorium (which was under construction). Special matches were organised in the small pit, in the shape of a heart, to the right of the auditorium. We even had peace treaties and ceasefire when the participants were less... and all this was handled by Ujwal himself.

When Ujwal was absent, no one even dared to go any area close to those above... But, Ujwal left the school that year..

Then I voluntered to take the hot seat... in fact I had to convince each one of them telling that "I am the topper in the class, so you should follow me"... but physically I was the weakest in the group... always stood behind everyone... couldn't run fast when were being chased... in fact I got caught a few times... even before they did anything I started crying and shouting "I will tell to teacher"...much to my relief I some how convinced everyone that fighting is bad and it was over... I was the ASHOKA of B-section!!!

well those were the days...

---buddi

The wishing chair...

1. The wishing chair...

does the photo above ring some bells???

To mark the beginning of this series, I wanted to start off with something very positive and something people would hardly remember...

I was never a big fan of any fancy story but this was destined to be one of the most memorable experiences of my life...

A little over 13 years ago we were sitting in the first room to the left, in the Sharada Bhavan... expecting a new class teacher. We were all very noisy, after all we were meeting after a long vacation. I particularly missed Vijay, it seemed to me, that I was meeting him after ages. Then entered a lady with a couple of books and a long "register" which meant she would be ruling our class for the next 8 or 9 months. Then she introduced herself. It was her first year (and perhaps her first class) at school. She never seemed to be a strict teacher.

One day, she asked us if we were interested in listening to a story and who would say "NO"... it was the last period of the day and I was almost half-asleep. Then she started with the story of JACK and THE BEANSTALK... it was sufficient for a period but by the end everyone of us had realised that we should have more of these... it was fun, it was interesting, above all what really mattered was the interest with which she told us the story..

As days went by we started demanding for more stories... then began the story of the "WISHING CHAIR... the adventures of PETER and MOLLY" this story went on and on for weeks together and no one ever wanted another story...
So much was our attachment to the story and the teacher that... when she once came to our class for substitution in class V or VI ... we asked her to tell us that story again... She would never say "no"... and then she started with the second part of the series of the WISHING CHAIR... and then... you know!!

In fact when my brother bought the third book last year... it took me less than a day to finish it off... well, it was too small a book and above all it was definitely for me... but that was the interest, that was the level of desperation even years after I heard it last... I wish every subject I ever study would be made so interesting...

And why did all this become so memorable??? It was the teacher who handled it... Mrs.Geetha. She taught me English 13yrs ago (after that she came to our class only once as a substitution teacher) but even now she remembers my hand-writing (she was describing it when I met her last July). What else could you ask for from a teacher... surely some one whom I would remember throughout my life..

Thank you Ma'am


--buddi

LOOKING BACK...

Well yesterday was a day full of questions. Questions ranging from the simplest to the toughest to be answered. Starting from...

• What is happening in my life?
• What is missing in IIT?
• Am I at the wrong place?
• Will I ever cope up from my defeats?
• My defeats - my losses - What are they?
• Where did I lose myself?
• Where did things go wrong?
• Where did my promises end up?
• Am I so worthless?

After the above lines I know you would be ready to give me a lecture about waiting for the right things to happen in life... but I am not a believer of such stuff. I do things i like at that moment. What I learnt today was - Live every moment of your life... Don't think about tomorrow...

Just to relish a few of my Golden Days I have begun this series of write-ups... i hope you would like them. They are dedicated to all my classmates who would figure in these write-ups in some way or the other. These are for all of them to read and have a smile for atleast a couple of minutes for every time you read them...

Always yours
buddi

" i am normally abnormal "

rohit... touching the void..
or purri as we call him.. is one of his kind..
an ever smiling creature... totally fun-loving guy... great football player and a diehard Arsenal and Henry fan... i am very sure he celebrates Arsenal's victories more grandly than Wenger

when ever i think of him.. i remember... firstly Henry, then his peculiar laugh (his identity card), his cycle, his social studies answers, his football with which we play, his left-footed shots and tackles, his single room.. bathroom without lock, his orkut one-liners, the glass of rum+sprite which he shared with me, prince of Persia game, his comp which doesn't start easily, his father's scoldings in his words, yashwant and their bike accident story, his "tution point" stories, ... and most importantly his late night meetings, movies, parties with idli, uppi, abhi and others (i feel jealous for this)... these are things defining this guy..

always tender at heart.. it feels great to be with him...


purri i miss you ra.. (4/29/2007)





If that was for orkut... now this is for the blogspot...




"Rohit"... that was how it started... then in class VIII in history chapter we read that priests were called "purohits" in the down south over a 1000yrs back... then it became a much shorter and even more easier to pronounce "purri"...

well this guy moved to our class from the 'A' section (the dirty and premature section to say the least) to ours in VI... later he teamed up with the ever smiling PP (yet another import from yet another shady section)... they usually kept things to themselves... during the Dark Ages (until the turn of the millennium)... then it was the renaissance which changed things for us...
they hung around the "the GOD of Small Jokes" Sastry and his partner Ramuk Yaniv (read the name in the reverse)... the reason being simple Purri loved chuckling - "the shreaking laughter" for which he is known... another reason could being a part of the same football team... they were all part of the minnows (LB & SM)...

Well we have had enough of his surroundings... now to his body... this guy never had anything enviable in his physique... but he had one (if you choose to believe... its two) the thing which was really big... his brain (the second... his heart)... if someone has seen his play they would consider his legs too (esp. left) which turn and turn and turn... but football was never my sport... ok, forget that for a moment... Back to Square One...

I guess the brain has 100 billion neurons... purri has got over 12 billion of them running (number is big enough to crack something special)... he never wasted them on remembering the forgettable social chapters... he proved his intellect in solving those maths problems and explaining them to me... the best footballing brain I have ever seen...
he has some much space in his brain for his feelings for friends... he shows so much concern and attachment for them... I feel he respects his friends' ambitions a lot... he never minded spending time with friends at the cost of getting some preachings back home... personally I missed most of chances of being with him but I was told about these stories (they aren't just stories... they are something more)... 

he is a person you wouldn't mind troubling or cracking jokes on... 

the best football session attendance on records... the best solo-goals ever scored on the school grounds... are his credentials... off late he has proved to be a great critic and commentator of the European Football... salutes to his excellent memory and keen observation in this matter... he could well be a perfect business consultant for those big players in the championships...

He is usually plagued by the feeling of underestimating himself... he needs a few brain-washing sessions in this regard...






yet to be completed...

there is so much more to be told about him but I sign off here... may be some other time.

I am always there...

A TRIBUTE

I have known him for over 10 years... not the longest of times but its still half my life...
he means the most to me... in fact more than my parents or anyone else...
this person is the most precious gift I could have ever had... I just can't ask for anything more... he has been my best teacher…

though we had a rough start... time passed by and here we are…

Today I feel no one knows him better than me… and of course vice-versa… his mind is the best blend of anything good one would have wished to have...

I was the first victim of his enormous mental strength… was too good in academics in our school days… now there are other things in which he is interested but still manages to pull off a decent score in exams… What ever he does it is with utmost clinical precision, concentration and perfection…

In sports I was jealous of him… the commitment he showed even in friendly cricket matches was just unimaginable…I still remember once such instance… I often happened to play against him and I batted very well in one match and he was one of the bowlers to get the stick… in the next match he got me out for a duck… he acted as if he finally got the revenge for which he was waiting for a 100 yrs… he came up to me and thumped his fists and yelled “YES! YES! YES!”… I felt he would have stabbed me if he had any access to a knife… That scene still lies fresh in my mind…

one who watches movies not for entertainment but to understand the inner meaning of everything… he taught me how a movie could be 2hours of life… his selection of movies arguably the best… dead poets society, Amadeus, one flew over the cuckoo’s nest, Shawshank redemption, Philadelphia, the departed… I can say no one has understood these movies better than him… he explained me what the following meant “Keating’s carpe diem”, “Andy’s hope”, “Red’s birds with bright wings”, “Salieri’s confession”, “Andrew’s small mistakes”... today they are my driving forces… the very source of energy that keeps me going...

What ever I do these days… I talk to him first then take a decision… one who has always supported me and many times explained things to me… only one in my life so far who agrees that life is more of modest achievements and satisfaction than earning money… I have never heard a NO from him… always takes a step forward and says I am there in case you want any help… this very assurance often gave me loads of confidence…

This was actually meant to be a testimonial... but I wanted to tell you so much that… I have lots of feelings but I have been unable to express those… so far never really thanked him for all these… I won’t miss this opportunity… THANKS...UDAY… you have been the one defining everything people see in me today… THANKS once again… hope you reach great heights in future… finally your line... I am always there for you...

buddi
Sunday May 20, 2007

being at the wrong place...

Well this article was always on the list..... it was just a matter of time... when it had to come

Being at the wrong place... it feels great..


Was i joking?? may be or may be not.. its all about your attitude...

it happened so many times... I felt I was lonely.. I was doing (infact I felt I was being forced to do) the wrong things but couldn't help myself... I was looking for some one to support me... all that i wanted was sympathy... I felt so helpless that i used to cry and later laugh at my helplessness...

well those were my learning days.. all those have made me a bit more wiser... a bit more of a philosopher's writing...

Well I have made complaints to many people.. "I am never at the right place.... This is not the right place for me..." But here I am today seeing things in a much different way. Well i was at the right place most of the times... just a few things went wrong and life seems to have become miserable...
God gives everything in a very balanced way... its just which part you enjoy more... there is nothing like being lucky... in your case you are often looking at things that went wrong and you claim I AM ALWAYS UNLUCKY.. in the case of your friend the only thing visible to you is their success and hence the line.. HE IS LUCKY..
we are almost never ready to accept that we enjoy as much as success as anyone else... but success really matters when it is hard-earned.. then it tastes sweet to you... failure on the other hand is the other way.. every undeserving failure brings along with it a bag full of hope and energy to work on...
All that matters is not the place where you are.. it is the work you put in to make the surroundings look more pleasing to you... You will enjoy the same success even without those efforts but your success will come and will pass by and even you won't realise that... nothing that adds to your joy...
All that you put in is to satisfy your egoistic needs.. to feel 'ESTEEM' ..
given the place you are in now you can do two things.. put in some work to turn things your way or put in some more work to dig out your success which went on even without you realising it...


Happiness is not a destination, it is a method of life - Burton Hills


buddi
Saturday May 5, 2007

childhood...

CHILDHOOD...

Gone are those days...
when you were shameless
when you were tender at heart
when you were mischievous
when you never cheated
when you never hurt people verbally
when you believed blindly in friendship
when you followed advices
when you shared everything with friends
when you used to sind the national anthem with pride...

but now,
you are a person.. more concerned about yourself, who has started losing trust in everyone...

you are now arrogant, adamant, careless,.... (to be filled up by you)


TRY TO CHANGE...

"Always be young at your heart" - Raghuram Sir


buddi
Thursday April 19, 2007

How can people be so passive to my mails?

well the simplest of reasons is that i write really long mails... Long in both senses... paragraphs of useless and uninformative matter and secondly, fully written words which make things unattractive and too much routine...

in a world which feels it is tiring to type "you" and prefer a single letter "u"... my mails don't deserve a place!!!

Well people would advice me "change is necessary", OK.. I agree ... but change in what sense???

How much time do you save in going for such substitutions?? may be a couple of seconds if you are writing a 100-letters mail. 2 seconds... I think you can't even take a sip of coffee in that time...

What are you running for???

Mails, letters are means of expressing your feelings... you can't cut short your feelings. And I bet on this.. it is true atleast in the case of anger..

Mind you... things change... everything that can be physically felt appears different to eyes.. but what doesn't change is what you can't see... feelings... affection, love, sentiments, passion... these are the things which you are alive for...

Change... change with people around you but not at the cost of the very things which keep you alive...


After all this.. you need not read my mails... or infact anyone's mails for that fact... atleast try to realise that they have spent some time wrting those... they have felt that you were the most important for them atleast for those few minutes they spend in writing it... Believe me they are the ones who celebrate your success.. they are ones who mourn along with you... You do have the responsibility of atleast showing some gratitude to them... A single-letter 'K' could do the job for you if not a pain-staking double-lettered 'OK'....

buddi
Monday March 26, 2007

all it takes...

ALL IT TAKES...

'all it takes' is the punch line of which company?

This was the first question at the General quiz preliminary round, CVR College of Engineering ( 9^th March 2007). This was the question which troubled us most... we even had people asking us “ayyaaaaaa, you didn't know it? how come?”

I couldn't take it, all I could do was remain silent, I could see an immediate change of body language in Uday and Vijay (more explicit in his case). For a moment I remembered those days when we were a bit more warm-blooded.

Somehow that tag line hinged itself to my mind. It meant something... ALL IT TAKES... almost nothing I could think of right away. Finally, I made some sense out of it yesterday.

all it takes is mental strength, courage, emotion, hunger, obsession, determination, passion, pride, bravery, comittment, honour, ego, vanity, thrill, belief, dream, valour, perfection, persistence, killer instinct... and finally, according to Andy, perhaps the best of things HOPE.



How can we be so passive to a defeat, humiliation, a plunder of our self-respect ,... ? How can we be so patient in waiting for something more pleasing

We don't feel the pinch... do WE? neither are we interested in delivering one..

come on guys... its been a long time. Its been a long time since you proved you were worth something, something you were made for, something no one could dare doing...

Leave behind those moral stories that told you to respect to people around you. All it counts is where are you... the first or last (good bye to those podium finishes and those bloody console (ation) prizes). Open up.. rule the world, enjoy your opponents defeat, let them feel the pain...

All these years of my studies have taught me one thing at least (if not many!!)... how ever well you prepare, write exams... All that matters in the end is how much you scored... No one bothers about how you got those marks once you are out of the exam hall... you copy, you impress the teachers, you change answers after you get the papers... NOTHING matters... NOTHING. Today, I feel ashamed to write in my CV that i scored 82% in intermediate. I didn't copy, didn't by-heart anything, didn't impress teachers... I am not going to write all this in my CV...Its just that 82 that matters for people.

After writing this, I can see an emperor in the making...

In the dusty, hardly visible future

I see,

An emperor in the making,

An emperor who would never lose,

Some one for whom all that matters is the challenge,

Past no longer counts,

Its a never ending war

a War for pride and ego.

-- buddi


24th March, 2:55 am

Well the emperor could be me.

90 percentile days...

For the last 10 days I have been into something I always wanted to… but somehow I feel lost. I feel I am unable to give my best… as low as 50% of what I am capable of, with time and struggle I may get it to 70… BUT where is the remaining going….

I DON’T KNOW!!

Looking back into those days when I was above the 90 percentile mark (tenth and intermediate)… the days which I call “THE 90 PERCENTILE DAYS” … I feel I was a different person then. I was wasting time, playing and wondering if I was doing the right thing but still when I felt like studying (rarely though), I wanted to and I could give my best. I wanted to make people around me feel the punch in losing in my hands… then it was not just a matter of beating them but by how much margin I beat them. This may seem childish but seriously I wanted people to feel the pain… from my classmates to the lecturers… I didn’t care who it was. I enjoyed doing that. I never felt like studying maths but I was still behind lecturers showing them that I could always come up with something more logical and elegant. When it came to physics I wanted to be the best.

I was mentally very strong and committed then. Once I made my mind to get 40/40 in physics in a weekly EAMCET exam, but could manage only 38/40, losing 2 marks for blunders I couldn’t afford to make. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of nights after that just because I threw away a chance to get 40. It wasn’t mere liking I had for few things but it was passion for those… as if it were a life and death question.

No matter how rarely I showed my interest in studies, I feel I was at my very best.

It has been a different story all along for the last three semesters. I have been very passive to things around me. I got used to those boundary cases in my subjects (including physics), I got used to getting ill, I got used to bunking classes, I got used to my knee injury, I got used to my horrible room, I got used to the warnings from my parents, I got addicted to drinking coffee, I got addicted to play football (not any more), I rarely participate in any competition, I got used to the confusion all around me…

All I know now is that, even if I decide to do something, I am not going to complete it. Right now pondering over things takes away most of my time even while studying…

Today I know that if my project goes right till 22^nd January, I will get the opportunity to attend INPC 2007 at Tokyo. I also know that my father has ordered me to drop any idea of attending any conference or anything related to nuclear physics (reason: poor performance in the third semester).

How can I get to my best if I always have this duality in my mind?

I have got so used to defeats and humiliations that I don’t mind one more. May be that’s the way it has to go on. What difference does it make to lose in IIT or in nuclear physics when nothing can keep me busy and happy?

buddi
0920
30-12-2006

I am invincible...

Sitting on a shore, you feel…
“I am invincible”
you can see the waves trying to reach you….
but getting back defeated…..
The waves never die down in shame….
Why!! Why do they insist?
Who cares…
But some where in the back of my mind
I can hear bells ringing…
am I really invincible??
May be yes....perhaps no is a better answer…
bad memories keep pinching me…
and future!!...who knows…when a mighty wave
may come and just drown me…
Mind you…. every time a wave comes and returns….
it takes away some sand and grows higher….
One fine day it will be capable enough… to gulp you in
waves have the time….which you don’t
waves erase their old memories…which you don’t
waves persist…which you don’t
Then how do you think you are invincible?
Perhaps we could have been…..if only we were waves…
Why not at least try to be like them…..

Timings: written when at Besant Nagar beach…..07-10-2006 around 5:45am

life is too small to be wasted....

on the shore of my life……. I stand….
only to see a mighty sea eager to engulf me…….
all life I ran across the land…..
just to find that it ends……
no sweet memories…..
no beloved ones to help me….
no more energy to hang on…..
now I realize ……
I was wrong all along…..
believe me….
life is beautiful…..as it is……
blooming flowers, relishing fragrances…..
you, me, everyone we like….
life is too short….
by the time you realize….
you will be knocking doors of death….
live through your life…..
love people…..
enjoy…every moment
enjoy, enjoy and just enjoy…
who knows…………….
kal ho naa ho

buddi
written on: 13th September, 2006
inspired by the movie: kal ho naa ho