Dangers of a good resource

Dangers of a good resource
"Imagine a few balls held together and stationary at a place. Now imagine several small balls revolving around the balls at the centre, like what happens in our solar system. Except that the sun is replaced by a group of balls... Are you able to see what I am saying?"
"We don't understand it, just show us the Learnext videos" replies a student.

SILENCE! It was a very irritating silence. This was what happened in one of my classes recently. It wasn't a welcome sign to get back to teaching after a long gap. The last couple of weeks or so have been challenging for me to revive my interest and moreover accept the circumstances and plan my way ahead. I have had 2 very disturbing experiences - one of them was the above and the other with a group of teachers.

On November 13th, I was addressing was a gathering of 86 primary school science teachers at the Block Resource Centre at H D Kote. On the evening of the previous day I was given a list of topics of science to talk about. I chose topics primarily from physics and spent about 6 hours planning for the programme. I tried to stay within the syllabus of the Higher Primary School and wanted to primarily clarify their conceptual doubts. But only later did I realize that I got it wrong. I was of the opinion that if I can help teachers understand the concepts, they would put in their efforts to come up with newer ideas and customize their teaching as per the students in their classes. But what teachers were looking forward from this "training programme" was a ready-made package which they could directly deliver in a class. They just wanted to be postmen who deliver letters on time and in good condition (They just don't want to break your head about the content).

The other incident was something on these lines again. In both cases, the teachers and students have access to  resources - wonderful teaching materials, teaching aids and so many other things. Our world is surely a smaller place. Now a days, our teachers are able to teach better and students are able to understand better. But nothing comes for free.Teachers understand lesser and students think even lesser. All the teaching aids we have, have made the teachers and students less creative. They can't imagine abstract things, read lesser! Any small challenge in front of them and they are looking for support.

This is going to affect the creativity of teachers and students. I have seen quite a few students come up with ready made kits as part of their projects! What is happening? Are we ever going to break our heads, burn our fingers and dirty our dress for understanding how something works and may be get something to work. When resources are limited... thats when everything happens. I think it is time for us to have a look at the resources more critically and then decide what is that we need the most.

--buddi
0029
27 - 11 - 2010

Ambiguous goals

I have been having several ideas for the last few months but have written about hardly any. So, here I decided to at least write briefly about a few. Ambiguity is rooted in almost every move of our daily routine. Here are some questions I have..

Ambiguous goals - Every time we set our goals, we deeply rely on our resources and instincts so much that we rarely give importance to how we actually set our goals. I wouldn't call it a mistake that we do as it gives us a chance to reflect back on how we would have done better. Learning from experience (and not mistakes)! Here are my examples -

1. How does GRID operate? When I founded GRID, I thought I was very clear with my goals. GRID would work on agriculture, education and rural technologies; and myself being comfortable with the educational sector (just a feeling that I could do something) made that my immediate priority. I went ahead and discussed my ideas with several people and many seemed quite interested. We conducted competitions, workshops and held discussions in schools and with teachers in varied schools and have had a good response almost everywhere. We were approaching someone or were being approached, thought over what they needed (our thoughts), packaged it into some workshop or competition and then delivered it. However, today after 4 years of work and thought behind me, I have this doubt - did I get it right? And I started pushing my ever reliables, Anirudh and Sneha, to think. What exactly were our goals? Who was our target group? What was our strategy? We seemed to have played around with those according to our convenience.
2. What made IKC the ultimate goal of IViL? This issue involves a lot of us and I don't speak for them. The idea of setting up IKC at Natham was thrown up Prof. JBL at a time when IViL had energy in the form of new members and a laboratory in the form of Natham. It came at a time when many questioned why we were still sticking onto Natham. IKC was meant to be the perfect answer from a technological institute group for the rural people's needs. It was meant to facilitate a knowledge exchange between us and the people there. A perfectly running IKC was meant to be our stepping stone onto exploring possibilities in other villages, in a way saying GOOD BYE to Natham. After going through few of the reports prepared by the MSI students, IKC for me had a great vision and if achieved would be one of the best accomplishments of the group. As we went into the discussion, planning and implementation stages, we forgot to ask questions - Is this needed? (I don't remember any of us discussing whether IKC is needed) Is this the best way? (Much of our planning and implementation were never synchronized, leading to a lot noise in the group) Where does this lead to? (Many of the problems with the IKC were not surprising) And finally the big question - What did we learn? We had problems in answering every question. We were so obsessed with the idea of getting it running and then getting out of Natham that we never cared to think of those. I feel we as a group lacked clarity in what and why we were doing.
3. Where is SciTour heading? Another group, another idea, another time. SciTour was launched on Jan 1st, 2010 to publish articles to help people enjoy science.

In all of the 3 cases above, I feel we lacked clarity in what our goal was. We were just doing those because we felt that we were good at it. Is that the way to select to do something? Today I would say NO.

I feel it would be much better for us to set our goals first and then do everything that requires to be done to achieve those goals. In case of Natham, had our goal been to help it become a socially, economically, environmentally and culturally a better place to live in - we would still be there in Natham trying to get more people to use toilets, more kids to go to schools, more of the SHGs functioning, work with the farmers to build sustainable and profitable agricultural processes and get people to mingle with each other breaking down the caste barriers in the village. Alas, that isn't the case. When I look back at my journey in the last 4 years and interactions with different people - much has changed. I have learnt a lot from these experiences. However, somewhere deep inside I know they are mistakes (and not experiences).

--buddi

0225

16 - 11 - 2010

The "Dark Energy" in my life

The "Dark Energy" in my life! Sounds crazy to me, sounds crazy to most...

Dark Energy, the invisible energy, of my life have been the people around - they make me, they define me. Very few have contributed but have contributed way too much. Most of us don't realize how much each can influence us when they are around and only when they are gone do we realize that... thats not really the case in my life. At least a few times..

I wrote the above lines a long while back here and I dozed off. Today I am sitting on the terrace on a cool night with people around me. People brought to life after a long conversation with a friend.

Only two people... once eating ice cream, once searching for books in Higginbothams, once sitting in the robotics lab and preparing presentations, once sitting as strangers across a table and having lunch, once staying awake through out the night chatting, once writing letters, once sleeping while typing a message, once in a group to have coffee, once walking past fearing that it might be last, once facing each other with a 'how-come' face, once a pleasant talk, once a violent silence, once a missing link, once at the British council, once at the Onam celebrations, once at Hot Chips, once at Dhabba Express, once on road post mid-night in search of food..

Well, that is several times. 'Chikku' and myself have been friends for a short span (relatively) and have been great friends. Sometimes together and sometimes alone, I did enjoy a different friend in her. Starting from the 'arrogant' fellow as she mentioned me to a good friend now, we have moved on and on. I once feared that I would never be able to meet her again to a reassuring feeling that I can always meet her, every moment is a relishing memory in itself. Many of which I just can't explain. Chikku is surely a special friend. Why?

I don't know..

Not everyday we get good friends and not every friendship is special. Very true! We just need to care to hold them together...

Am I at the right place?

Sitting in Anirudh's home, Bangalore... All software-walas still sleeping!

I am all set to go and meet the Prema Vidya team. By the mails exchanged, it looked like the team are expecting a 'different' person. This doubt and the experience at the Annual General Body Meeting yesterday, complemented by the several others, cements my doubt - Am I at the right place? Or to be more truthful, Am I the right person to work at this place?

Some of my friends might just laugh off, saying - you are just being modest. But modesty is not supposed to trouble mentally! My life has always been in mediocrity, choosing to do well and show commitment only when it was pleasing to me. And around me, at SVYM, are people who have achieved a great deal all through their life, topping almost everything they did and they did everything with utmost sincerity.

I, on the other hand, did almost nothing completely seriously. I found Calculus by Thomas & Finney more interesting than 10th board exams, Tendulkar's sixes against Akthar and Caddick in the World Cup more memorable than PUC, reading nuclear chemistry more important that preparing for IIT JEE, football and morning jogs more relieving than the sleep before exams at IIT, my nuclear physics project more worthy than any other BTech course and on and on. As a result and as expected, I did nothing that I would really be proud of. I left IIT feeling that the degree didnt mean anything to me and I dont know when I may get that. (I dont regret that) And here I am surrounded by people who have accumulated gold medals and gold medals.

I still stand by the opinion that the degree means nothing to me and knowledge is more valuable, and so I wonder - am I the right person to work at this place? I am just too playful..

-- buddi

0706

27 - 09 - 2010

PS: I did win a couple of gold medals in school for being named in the football and cricket teams for the inter-house tournaments. Do they count?:-)

Random thoughts

Random thoughts – Independence Day (15^th August 2010)

On the very same day, last year I was here. It was a different experience then. As Anirudh put it, on our way back, 24hrs of the Independence Day well utilized! That was quite a while back! Things have really changed now… back then I was the known-unknown. People at the VSOE knew that there was a fellow coming from Chennai; had released some newsletter and went back. I knew Malathi and Anitha, and I met Dr Padmaja and Dr Bindu to give them a copy of the newsletter (I was very confused between Dr Padmaja and Dr Sridevi at that time). I hardly remember any interaction with Prathima and other staff here.

Today was better. I knew almost everyone at the school and many at the SVYM function. From a visitor, I have grown to be a volunteer and a friend in this place. I have participated in the discussion in the Recreation Committee meetings and to have some extent influenced the way the event was organized. The interaction with Dr MAB was as insightful as any of the earlier ones. The discussions on Independence vs. Swaraj and Equality vs. Equity were thought-provoking. These followed by the visit to Mysore made the day even more exciting. Prathima, Sophia and Sumalatha were there all along. Some eating, shopping, window-shopping, again eating and the long travel back made up our trip. I have had a really great time with them, especially Prathima. She has been one of my best friends here and is like anyone else. But the simplicity and openness to suggestions and ideas just puts her one step beyond. Another new place, another new friend… this surely is one thing I am always happy about – I find a friend everywhere (not in everyone though). It was yet another memorable day for me here. Not because of the work but thanks to the people around…

Yet another Independence day, yet another year. Life seems to be running fast, a cause for concern. So much to do, so less time to do. I am almost always caught up in a fix where I really find it difficult to strike a balance between 'productive work' and friends. Is it always a trade-off? I just can't find the answer. Nevertheless, either way I choose I still have the satisfaction of doing justice to one of my prime interests. Well.. eventually I would find the balance I just hope I don't run out of fuel before that. This entry I am sure ran all over the place and hence the title 'random'. This was supposed to be about the people - people who guide and people who befriend.

--buddi

I Discover Myself

I Discover Myself

SVYM, My Experiences - 3

I am 6 months old now. As always – it has been a great journey so far. I can’t help it, that’s always the first line. 6 months already… I just can’t believe it, time seems to have flown by. I still have an entry to be posted three months back (editing going on, no need for it anymore). It is only these incomplete blog entries, bookshop bills and travel tickets flying around and a heavy bag of memories which give me a feel of the 6 months.

I have learnt a bit, traveled a lot and enjoyed the most. Some special moments – removal of stitches on the toe, “Room Clean” to “Clean Room” (RC2CR) Program, “spherical” balls of dough for chapatti, clinical trials of lady’s finger and potato deep fry, lunch invitations, pumping fists and cartwheeling (attempt) in computer lab after the success of a program, preparations for ERB (Online coursework :P), a six over the cover in the evening cricket match (ball went missing), diving with kids in water canals (unfortunately the water was only knee deep), long drives to Hosahalli, Pi day question paper, high fives after scoring the goals (short fives with Anup and Pranav), the unexplainable theatre (oops.. it’s a tent!), the frustrated kick which left the toe in pain for 10 days, students laughing at my jokes (happens pretty frequently), science club, midnight birthday parties, innumerable snack sessions, sleep inducing ‘resource person’ talks (should consider attending more of those), surprise trip to Trivandrum on friend’s birthday, trips to Siddapura & Thirunelli, “bad at eating” talks with Malathi, the 30min sleep after the posters preparation slog, Beatrice & Virgil, everyday walks (out of boredom, excitement, frustration), the new pairs of shoes for football, yes / no thinking sessions, 4 days when I did nothing, photography trials, phone calls running into hours … on and on.

Yes, they were 6 long months - flooded with thoughts and memories, every moment offering something to learn. I keep telling people about this place and would continue to. People have been very helpful and share their experience with me. While it has been difficult to get into the system (roles, rules and expectations), it had been an even greater challenge to gain acceptance from people. During my stay at IIT, I have been made villain many a times because I raise questions (places which taught science didn’t encourage questions) and talk about ‘actual’ work. This place has been more kind on me; people take questions and dig for answers. Few of my interactions with Dr MAB have been memorable. There have been situations where I couldn’t decide or talk straight to people. From the indefinite thoughts and discussions, I learnt that no person can be bigger than the organization itself.

There are several things a good room and a beautiful countryside can’t provide, we need people around. Dr MAB and Dr Sridevi have been very helpful all the way. Every time I walked into Dr MAB’s office with a question/doubt, I have come out laughing at myself. Foolish Praveen went with a silly doubt! Hours or sometimes days of thinking haven’t given me answers anywhere close to that of Dr MAB. His friendly nature and strive for perfection have been great inspirations. While Dr MAB gave me a chance to explore my work, Dr Sridevi has given me the chance to run wild in anything I could think of (ERB, Database, GIS ...). Living with my constant overshoots of deadlines, I still wonder how she keeps her cool. Everyone here, in their own way, has influenced my life. I would only belittle their influence by a ‘Thank you’, so no attempts.

In October 2009, I confessed to a friend that I didn’t know where I was heading and wanted some time to clear my head. And so I came to SVYM to learn about NGOs and simultaneously plan for future. I haven’t chosen this over my career, this is my career. I just hope to continue in this domain for a long time to come, there is no turning back. Here or somewhere else.. Wherever!

These months have been my most creative and productive after school. I have started enjoying myself a lot, a childhood which I once enjoyed in school. I Discover Myself.

--buddi

A day I lived..

I lived a day today,

I live a day,

some alive some dumb.

I live a day,

a day of memoirs of life,

a day worthy of note, a day forgettable,

many etched into and drawn from,

another day I lived in my life.

What difference does it make,

today or another, o life!

I had by me a friend,

one who lives life,

smiles outside and taught to smile inside,

a friend I had today.

What more do I ask, o life!

--buddi

1915

17 - 07 - 2010

I like it but I don't want it

Ravi is a 7th grade student in a reputed school and has been asked to do a project work on freedom fighters by his social science teacher. He has to read and write about 2 freedom fighters, attach relevant photographs and then give a talk in the class. For him it was a daunting task.

As he sat at his table pondering over what could be done, his father comes over and asks him, "Whats wrong?"

"I have a project work on freedom fighters. Don't know what to do!"

"Who are freedom fighters you have selected?"

"Unable to decide. I want to take someone about whom I can get maximum information."

"That is not the way you should select.. Select one who inspires you most. I will help you in the work". Ravi smiles, the reassuring pat from his father had boosted his confidence.

"Should I select Chandrashekar Azad and Bhagat Singh?"

"Both are revolutionaries... How about selecting one who believed in non-violence?"

"But I like them the most along with Subash Chandra Bose, Alluri Sitaramaraju, Rajguru."

Ravi was a bit hurt that his father wasn't giving the full freedom. Ravi's father wasn't surprised at the choices,"I like the revolutionaries!" he himself had told all his friends and teachers in his student days.

As he smiled, he said, "How about Bhagat Singh and Chandrashekar Azad?"

"Ya.. those are the ones I told"

"In alphabetical order... " They laughed and the work began. The following days were memorable for the both as they shared the stories they had read about the revolutionaries - how they fought, what they sacrificed, how they were respected and many more. The project work was a time which changed Ravi. He now felt more responsible for his country now and sang the nathional anthem with pride. He no longer questioned why he should be standing in attention while he sang.

About 10 years later...

Ravi is sitting at the same table. He has his 7th grade project in front of him. It had been one of his most valued items all these years. The memories almost moved him to tears. He was still inspired by the same leaders. Ravi was in the final year of his MBBS. He was going to be a doctor. He had finally found an answer for his quest for a direction in life.. he wanted to join the armed forces.

His interest didnot impress his parents. In the days following his announcement, Ravi had to face a lot of heat from his parents. There were few lines he just couldn't forget -

"We didn't spend so much money for that!"

"We have made so many sacrifices to see you at this stage"

"What sort of a person are you? The whole world is moving in one direction and you say you want to go against it! There should be equal importance for interest and money."

"Nothing is going to happen in this country. Why do you want to waste your life on that?"

Days passed and Ravi was lost. He was unable to decide between what he wanted to do and what his parents wanted him to. The confusion led him to think about what his father had told him ten years ago..

"That is not the way you should select.. Select one who inspires you most." Was he mistaken? Was choosing a topic for a project different from choosing what to do in life?

"Why does my father like freedom fighters and still not let me try to do something like them?"

Deep questions to be answered...

I like it but I don't want it

There is always a conflict in what we like and what we want. The above story was an illustration of the struggle that goes on in eveyone's life. Smaller than this and at times larger.. Why?

I don't have an answer. This is something for all of us to think about... wouldn't life be more 'rewarding' and lively when we do what we like (with a bit of sanity). WE LIKE SPICE but WE WANT SUGAR! It would be too harsh to call it hypocrisy but most times we all are. We hardly care about what a person on the other side feels about the same.

A sad example for this are the sales representatives. I feel sorry for them, they work really hard - walking around in the sun, talking and convincing us, answer irrelevant questions and above all explain things with a smiling face. (I mean.. who would look at our uninteresting and uninterested face and keep smiling). This surely is one of the toughest job.

Does a customer care about how the sales fellow feels, does a father care about how the son feels, does a teacher care about how the student feels, do I care about how you feel? May be it is the time to start thinking, make sensible decisions and respect other choices.

--buddi

"To support my family I have to do this job. I don't like this but what to do..."

Non-sense! Don't you like supporting your family? Is it not your interest?

This article is a compilation of my thoughts based on my interactions with parents. Everyone likes APJ, Sachin Tendulkar, Vivekananda, Gandhi, Kalpana Chawla, Tagore, Gates, Che Guevara and so on, but they don't want their children to be like that. There is a lot of "risk". Are we "safe" otherwise?

Why I chose to be what I want to be

There are several people who keep asking me questions like.. Why did you join the development sector? Why did you want to become a teacher? Why did you start GRID? Why did you quit IViL? Why did you join SVYM? Why do you take classes at ABS? Why did you choose nuclear physics? Why did you drop nuclear physics for neuroscience? And the best of all.. Why are you ruining your career at SVYM?

"Just trying out different things!"

And suddenly in most cases there would be an expression of shock or giving up on me. Most of the times I don't have convincing answers. However, it is an interesting exercise to look back and think of why I chose to be what I wanted to be (Sometimes / Many times what we want to be is different from what we choose to be). This is my search for those answers and a look into if I still do it.

Why I chose to be a teacher & my experiences..

My first assignment as a teacher was to spend some time with the students of 7th class on weekends and get some pocket money. The first few days of my class were mechanical - a presentation (given to me by my employer), few students and a blackboard. As the students changed and as I got used to the "drill" I started realizing that in the name of a foundation programme (for competitive exams :P), parents were being cheated and students were being tortured. I never really understood, why parents wanted to pain their children with these classes on weekends.

To answer my conscience, I had broken off from the traditional way and started discussing rather than lecturing. Things suddenly looked changed, the kids were more active and interactive and I was sure they learnt more this way. Very soon, I stopped using the presentations and discussions.. we got into a story telling mode. 5 of us, sit in a circle and tell something that was related to that day's theme. We used to have two sessions of 1.5hrs each and in between there was a round of badminton. We all used to enjoy it! The kids suddenly had so many things to tell me. I learnt one of the first lessons as a teacher - students have so much to say, we just need to give them a chance.

I did have to bear the heat from my employer and I was forced out but I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a teacher. I didn't want to step outside the class and say "My class in over"... I wanted to be a mentor. I had envied many of my teachers and tried imitating them. That is what being a teacher is more about - not just teach science or social but being a role-model in every sense. The dressing, body language, language, behavior is all looked at very closely by our students, I was learning all of these. As I started enjoying it more, there were more issues troubling me and I set out to change at least a few. I started talking to teachers and wanted to change the way few things were being done. Hit road-blocks at most places!

In my quest to understand more, I began to teach several age groups... those in the age group of late 20s to 6th standard kids. It was a very different experience, learnt new things. Students tend get more conscious about their surroundings and neighbors with age, even getting a doubt clarified would become very difficult. Unknowingly I had started observing the psychology of the students - changes in it and the external influences. It was interesting to note how a child's thought process changes.. my first case study was myself, how small and seemingly unimportant things change our attitude towards life. It was nice to come up with a chronological order of events and relate to how they brought about the crests and troughs. This became one of the motivations for me to take a class to the ground and then observe the students - how they play, how they get involved, how they interact and so on. With a better understanding of the kids we would be in a position to relate better.

From being a teacher, there was a stage when I wanted to teach teachers how to teach. I just didn't say this to any teacher but that was what I meant.. I was sick of the tiring and quiet lectures. I was hated at most places, people started feeling insecure! I have neither had the qualification and experience to be a teacher nor did I read any books. I was questioned repeatedly. I am grateful to SVYM for having had faith in me.

Still the compound walls exist, most times wherever I go, people think I am more of an intrusion. I don't believe in bribing students with stars on the conduct chart, I want to be a 'teacher' not a maths/science textbook interpreter, I have to close eyes in the assembly for the kid to learn from me rather than keep a watch on them and punish whoever doesn't do it, I have to respect every high school student to make them respect each other, I have to leave behind my ego or other personal issues to work with the entire team to create a better environment for the kids to learn, I am sure none of these makes me a bad teacher and I hope I can be accepted as a fellow teacher or want-to-be-teacher. I no longer try to preach to teachers, that was a failed experiment. It is an emotionally more satisfying exercise to work with students than teachers!

The talks on "Brain & Psychology" and "Research in education" which I gave at VTTRC (Thanks to P Mahesh, Principal, VTTRC) have been my most memorable moments as a teacher. They were entirely based on my experiences as a teacher, giving examples of students I had observed. Though they would have been unorthodox, I can now proudly say I can talk for 3 hours on what I learnt from my experiences. Every place I go to - students are different, cultures are different. It is as if I am starting all over again. The journey goes on... I still WANT TO BE A TEACHER.

--buddi

0843

18 - 06 - 2010

PS: I have always avoided taking classes and feel uncomfortable if I have to in the Primary School, as it takes a teacher to be of high morals to teach and shape the minds. And I am surely not of the high morals.

"I guess I would need only 194mg of the paracetamol"

Kabani had fever and cold since morning. She was aware that there was no definite cure for that. Kabani had once committed herself to finding an answer for this, but still had a long way to go. Her mother accompanied her to the hospital. As they waited before the cabin of the physician, she asked her mother, “Am I too old for a pediatrician?”.

Her mother's reply was a gentle smile followed by, “ssshhhhh!”

Kabani was waiting for her name to be called out. It was a long wait in the Out Patient Department of the hospital. She was going through the posters put up on the walls of the corridor.

“So many of them! The world is still an unhealthy place...”, she thought. Some had meaningful and useful information with interesting slogans, while others had horrifying photographs of people suffering described using some scientific terms. Kabani was happy she understood most of them.

“Thanks to the school library.”

The place she was living in had been deprived of primary health and education for quite a while, but its a different place now. Kabani was among the many high school students who benefited from the health centre and school library set up by the community.

********************

The doctor was quick in what he did. He scribbled a few names on the sheet. “My hand-writing is better than his!” Kabani told her mother with a sense of achievement. Suddenly, she felt greater than the doctor. She was asked to take cetrizine and 250mg of paracetamol after every meal.

Kabani had reservations with the prescription, “Oh, this cetrizine is going to make me sleep now. Doctor, I guess I would need only 194mg of the paracetamol!”

The doctor knew what exactly she was talking about, he smiled.

“Unfortunately, we still don't get tablets having 194mg of that!”

*******************

That is the world I would like to see in a few years -

A girl child, in the countryside (no longer "remote"), is educated and is interested in doing research and fighting diseases. She has access to primary health facilities and doesn't hesitate to ask questions.

Even the medical system has improved. Each patient is different and the medicines have to be prescribed as per their exact requirements (having some computational models to give an exact estimate of how much of the drug is needed). Too much of a pain now but may be in the next few years it could be possible. Deep understanding of how our body functions (esp. brain) would be possible. Through dissection we can understand our heart but not our brain!

--buddi

PS: Slightly broken up thoughts, hope they make sense.

Tired.. Some don't know that!

Tired...

@ 11:50 pm, I just returned from the Dr. Ananth's office. Preparations are fully on the Parliamentary Standing Committee's Study Tour to SVYM. Making some posters for the various activities for the tribals... branded as the "Poster Boy"!

Today was a nice day, got a chance to meet Dr.Balu... finally! I had been longing to meet him for long... almost 2 years I guess. Though have been in constant touch with him through mails, a face-to-face meeting is always special. No person other than Mr. N G Bhat has ever inspired me more than Dr.Balu. He is a source of energy... “We can do it, We should do it!” Obviously, we have to be really hard-wired to say a NO. I asked him today, how he found time for everything.. his answer was simple... “I have the same 24hrs.. interest..” don't remember the exact line. He was correct, it was just a matter of how we wanted to use it and may be how badly we wanted to do something.

I just got my dose of energy, will take it from there... Looking forward for working with Dr.Balu.

Good night!

0009

Mobile Science Labs - An Experience

In the last 3 months of my work at SVYM, I have tried my hand in different things. Not academically eligible for any but I did manage to learn quite a bit. I plan to put some of my observations of various projects I have seen in last 4years in a series of articles here. Most of the projects I have taken interest in, work for improving educational standards in rural areas. This article is on Mobile Science Lab projects. Written for the group "All about science" it is a bit messy, I hope to improve the quality of writing slowly.

MOBILE SCIENCE LABS - Where do they start? Where do they stop?

For the last decade or more, mobile science labs have become a very popular idea for almost all NGOs and sometimes Government bodies. IViL took one to Natham! A simple Google search would give you several tens of news articles on the inauguration of a mobile science lab and even more photographs of the van / auto / lorry with some kids, and a celebrity! Though we are informed well about the inauguration and their plans, we are almost always left in the dark when it comes to the outcome of these projects. I am a part of a mobile science lab project myself, and this is an account of my experiences and unanswered questions - A hypothesis.

All mobile science lab projects aim at improving scientific temperament of students, providing infrastructure and human resource support to schools, primarily in the rural areas. Though the priorities and strategies might change a bit - the objectives and contents are almost always same. However, brain and beauty never go together! May be a bit biased but a comparative study of the two classes.

A couple of months back, I was at Agastya International Foundation, Kuppam, Andhra Pradesh. A 172 acre campus with 6 "BT lunch room sized" labs", full size cricket, football and basketball fields, a "Discovery" centre, in-house workshop, over 40 mobile vans and resource persons coming from Bangalore, Chennai and other places. Strategically placed where the three big southern states meet, it is a beautiful campus. The optical illusion display section in the "Discovery" centre was bigger than a couple of labs put together. Right from Guest rooms to the dinning plates to the office, everything shows crores of rupees being poured in. They claimed to have reached over 2 million children and 70,000 teachers. One of the striking features of the program is that they concentrate more reaching more students. A student will get a chance to visit a particular lab in the campus only once a year. Would that be enough? In sharp contrast is the SVYM project, Vignana Vahini. One mobile van, one coordinator, 20 schools, visiting each school once a month. Involving the local teachers to demonstrate the science experiments covered in that particular month, Vignana Vahini provides them the necessary equipment and raw materials. This is a model I believe in now (not necessarily the better). However, sometimes even the once-a-month visits aren't enough to sustain the interest of students for a month, what then? However, both models preach a hands-on experience and an experiential learning and though they have been successfully implementing these there is a large scope for improvement. The number of students being handled is a also a limiting factor.

Agastya has a very interesting concept of identifying the talented students in the sessions they take up and these students are made to participate in some science fair etc. However, the students themselves don't prepare the things for demonstration, they are only taught how to explain! With a workshop readily available in-house, Agastya prepares demonstration models with great ease. This kills creativity among the students and teachers - they hardly dirty their hands. In a couple of science exhibitions conducted recently, I had seen students explaining with ready-made kits. The concept works directly against Agastya's tag line - "Sparking creativity". Where do we start? And where do we stop? The kids selected in these sessions could act as the student-tutors and enhance peer-to-peer learning. Well the idea seems to be good, implementation presents a new set of challenges.

It is a fact that all the "best" B.Eds become government teachers (because they undergo a pretty tough selection process). However, the government post makes them good at counting money! Whatever teacher-force we hire outside or whom we have are all the second best. Be it the "well-trained" faculty at Agastya or the coordinators of our project none of them is as good as the government teachers. It is directly observable in the classes they take. However, well-trained someone is, only their vocabulary, body-language and methodology might change but their classes will be plagued with hundreds of conceptual mistakes. (A 'serious' common feature in most projects). They have equipments, they have resource persons but they are just not the best teachers. At Agastya, I had observed that the school teachers were alienated from the sessions going on (may not be the case always) and our project at SVYM involves the teachers too much. Both extremes are risky and will lead to a collapse of the whole mechanism.

How do me monitor the progress / impact of the whole project? How do we assess how a mobile science lab influenced a student's life? How do we calculate by how much percentage the student's scientific temperament has gone up? :P I wish we could just wait for a generation to pass by and then look at a possible change these projects would have brough about. Isn't enough to just be happy with the verbal approval of all students that these ideas help them? The answer is a NO. Improvisation is always possible, and we should be doing justice to the money that goes in. How is that money better spent on a mobile science lab and a health or sanitation programme? Justification, monitoring, feedback and reshaping are important, however no project I know of has these mechanisms in place and hence there is now news of a mobile science lab running successfully.

Intentions are right but implementation is never the best. The should be a blend of several mechanisms and a new system should evolve to best meet the needs of varied groups of children. Agastya is creating a spark in the fast-learners, SVYM keeps hitting and hitting until the moderate-learners pick up, what do we have for the slow learners? Should they continue to be the neglected batch? Several questions like these leave our projects severely handicapped. They need a deep thinking!

Questions to be answered -

1. Show up once in a year at some school do a couple of experiments and move on, to see as many schools as possible.

Show up once a month in every school, conduct some experiments, competition, give reading materials - just concentrate on this smaller group.

Which one is better? Which has more impact?

2. Monitoring, feedback and performance analysis of the whole project. How do we do these? How do we find out whether it is helpful for the students?

3. Other contributing factors - It has been observed that some schools with science labs are not really able to help the students. So just providing infrastructure won't help. Which are other contributing factors that could help the cause of the project?

4. Teacher's role is unquestionable in education. To what extent should they be made a part of our project?

5. Usage of ready-made models for demonstration - Yes/No? Till what extent?

--buddi

18 - 05 - 2010

Sleepless nights at SVYM

This is a part of the letter to few of my friends and a teacher... I am yet to post the letter, felt like putting it up here.

It has been quite a few days since I have slept well in my room here at SVYM.. too many thoughts, too many things to do. I am having sleepless night here. Feels very awkward to say this and I have not been too successful to put my thoughts together. So much confusion in life around me, even greater confusion in my life.

Things have not been too good in the world around. A group of kids (may be some 12yrs old) trying to blow out some smoke onto my face from thrown away cigarette filters, a student securing 9/625 in SSLC exams, a politician making 700cr a day, BEO asking for extra bills so that he could pocket the extra funds, a cabinet minister sexually assaulting his friend's wife, naxalites brutally murdering 73 jawans, a corrupt Chief Justice of a high court being transferred to another, a school with a single teacher who handles 4 subjects for the students, corruption beyond imagination, a 52yr old citizen turning into a traitor and spy, thousands dying of starvation when rice is being sold at Rs2/kg, crores of crores rupees of black money (an estimated amount of 75 lakh crores is in Swiss bank accounts and Indian budget is of the order a lakh crores), a hungry kid feeding his dog, an elderly man crying helplessly for his ill wife, an eloping couple, and so on. The last three months of travelling have shown me life beyond the safe haven I had lived in.

It has been a testing time for me, the last few days - a test of humanness. Eating food and spending money has become a bit difficult now. I just can't digest the fact that there is so much going wrong around us. I hate myself for being a part of this system - we have to go and lick that BEO's *** from tomorrow to try to help a few students. We all form a society and almost everyone accepts that what is going on is not right, but can't take that one step to help someone. No one can be blamed, it is the sad part in this world... people follow. We need an inspiration to lead us.

I am a part of a NGO, I thought I was helping people but there is so much missing. "A caring and equitable society free of deprivation and strife" thats our vision - sweet and far far away. What good am I when I can't make even one person's life free of deprivation and strife. We have several tools to support us, we just need to make the right use - education, courts, RTI and above all having faith that justice will done. We have to tear apart the evils which plague us generation after generation.

The solitude and the climate I enjoy here is something that reminds me of my native place. They give me the space to try to understand the dynamics of life. In those cloudless nights, somewhere in the darkness around me, there is a great deal happening that eludes me.. I have have found some inspiration and energy to look beyond my "career" (this is my career and would be this way). Some day I would like to make myself happy feeding that hungry kid, helping that old woman, help that student pass SSLC, use at least a bit of the available money to help the deprived... I hope to, no matter where that takes me and what it costs. May be thats what is soul searching!

--buddi

0211

07 - 05 - 2010

PS: I am still writing the letter, will finish it soon.

2 birthdays, 2 different days - 2

Kabini, as beautiful as ever!

2 birthdays, 2 friends.. 2 very different days

Exactly a year ago, I wrote a similar article about the same people. Time flies by, people change, surroundings change but friends and feelings hardly wither.

Uday still doesn't care about his birthday so I didn't waste my balance.. though I wished him I hoped that ManU wins on his birthday (which did happen!). And Uday still remains indifferent to wishes... :P. Well, thats him.. that the fellow I have always known. Now its 13 years and counting. This entry is about my other friend...

For the other, Bhavani, I had bought a card 364 days back and have been carrying it along with me to all the places I have visited. I couldn't get a gift for her... no reasons, just didn't know what to give. In the last one year, several things had happened... she chose to take up a job. I am touch with her but its never the same we were. We are no longer team-mates at the voluntary work, we no longer have chats over nights, no ice creams and coffee treats. We have moved on in our careers but I am still stuck at Satheesh's lab for the team meetings, Coffee day for the treats, Higginbothams for buying books for the library at Natham, British Council for taking membership, OAT for watching movies with other gang.. the list would go on. Not complaints.. just memories!

On April 18th, when I was travelling between Sargur and Mysore.. I was still having the card with me.. too late! I found out that there was a bus travelling from Mysore to Trivandrum and 2 tickets were left... GAME ON. Within moments, I decided to travel 750 km to deliver the card and meet my friend. That evening I found myself travelling in the last seat of the bus. It was a wonderful journey.. I always enjoy travelling and this has been my best. I have never felt so emotional or never has any trip brought back so many memories. When I did reach the place after a few hiccups and over 14hrs of travel, I finally saw her running from place to place in the bank.

I sat down and started reading a book... for almost two hours I was there but she never noticed me. When I saw her settle down in her chair... "Excuse me ma'am... your card". A flash of silence... I couldn't speak anything. I think that was the best feeling of a reunion I have ever had. She was equally surprised. I left the place immediately and we met later after the office hours for some time. And then I started back...

That was it. Nothing special happened.. but I came back with a heavy heart. I could barely sleep all night - I just didn't want to have only memories, I knew thats what I would be left with. I traveled over 1500km to meet my friend on her birthday. No one has so far asked me if I was insane after this incident (I have been careful not to tell such people). I know I am not, I have just had the best journey of my life - through the green, hilly landscapes of Wayanad, through the memorable days at college.

We have never been friends for long, we have never been long lost friends. We have just been special friends. Bhavani's blankness, when she saw me, is going to stay with me for a long time. I can never write about my happiness and satisfaction about meeting my friends. But, why not try... I might just inspire myself to meet another friend. Promises made, promises kept and promises to come.

I just love all my friends... some people are just too special. Always for them.

--buddi

1942

21-04-2010

Went and came back in the same bus

SVYM, My experiences - 2

Nice to get back to this! I always enjoy it..

For the news updates - I have joined 'the NGO' in the Mysore district.

This one is about my first couple of weeks here (Already!) SVYM, the exciting place, is still as exciting as ever. Once I have joined here officially I got to work with people even more closely and share ideas and opinions. I have been a part of several nice discussions, sometimes in favour of me and sometimes against me (but never the "heated" ones). I am enjoying my stay here, esp. with so many knowledgeable people around and ready to help there is hardly a time when I would like to sit idle, people are more productive than I am. I am sure I will catch up, at least I will try to!

SVYM has provided me with the optimism and opportunity to explore and experiment which I have not enjoyed at other places. It is surely the place to be. In the few days I have spent here I did make a strange observation. I am not sure whether many will agree. There is a striking difference in the attitude of the people here towards work and their place of work. While some people take pride in being a part of this organisation (which includes the founders and few inspired ones), for many it is just another place of work. I found it pretty difficult to digest. I feel the heavy turn-over of staff can be attributed to this point.

In my interactions with few people here, the only thing I could feel was the passion and optimism. Its like there is a transfer of enormous enthusiasm and 'can do more' attitude. These are the people who built, build and run this place. People at various levels, starting from the President to the doctors to the to the teachers these are people who have inspired me and brought me back to this place time and again. Dr Balu (my first choice, as Malathi akka told I like him the most. For me he has been more inspirirng than any person I have ever heard of), Dr MAB, Dr MRS, Dr Sridevi, Dr Padmaja, Dr Bindu, Malathi, Anitha, Sumathi, Beena, Poshini.. the list is surely endless. For all the people who question my motives and choices I don't have better answers than just taking these names.

Sometimes I am caught in a confusion should I call them sir, anna, or just by their name. I believe respect comes in how behave with them rather than how you call them (that is one thing 4 years in IIT has taught me, we called our professors as 'sir' but we never had any respect. I am a bit ashamed to say this but it is a fact). Moreover, I think I just know that with these people it doesn't matter at all and I know I have high regards for them. These are the people I have enjoyed talking to in the last few days, the best part has been spending time thinking over their ideas and ideals. I feel proud to be a part of their family (though I have questions like do I deserve to be here) Everytime this thought crosses mind, it is a hair-raising experience.

On the other side are many people here who don't seem to know about the social impact (or should I call it the social footprint) of this organization. I am among the few lucky ones to have visited few of the places. For them this is a working place that runs from 9am to 5 or 6pm, and within these timings they are expected to abide by the rules and regulations! And one more observation I had was that hardly anyone shares their good times (or even the bad times) of their work - classes, meetings... whatever. Every time a notice is sent calling for a meeting, people kind of gear up themselves to get some firing... :P (which may or may not happen). I feel very much out of place with such people around. Nothing is looked at like "our" work, it is almost always "mine", "yours". Sometimes people are afraid of talking a few things infront of me, they feel I would inform the "higher-ups". I don't understand whom they are afraid of, may be they are afraid of themselves saying the wrong thing! I can't help but smile as I put down all these. Well, I have had enough of these experiences even before I joined here and I know to walk my way around them but thats not the solution. We need a change in attitude. We are teachers who have to show how good students should be like! We need to be good students. I take pride in being a part of SVYM, no matter what ever little I have done. I hope I can inspire at least one more and may be build that emotional link.

SVYM has given me great days already and many more to come. There are some bad things here too. The sun rises late here (come on Earth be faster), the day ends very fast (come on Earth be slower) the school should have a nap break after lunch, a football team, a chit chat place for 'out of mind' people like me and more of 'out of mind' people... sounds crazy :P. Sometimes I do miss my friends, the ritualistic midnight coffee sessions and the long walks. These kids make me so jealous, I just want to join for 9th class next year here and relive my best years (9th and 10th classes)

@ Uday and Purri.. hope you people also join and then we will have a Purri's Boston Tea Party.

--buddi

1917

22 - 02 - 2010